Writer, disruptive presence, devil’s advocate.

SEO copywriting takes a unique savvy, extensive research and the ability to communicate and collaborate with other web professionals for a superior end product. I work primarily with web design firms, agencies and site owners, and am no stranger to market research and competitor analysis.

For businesses looking to tap-into the wave of social media and capitalize on social networking techniques, I review needs, available platforms and applicable focuses for your online efforts. My clients receive max benefit in minimal time and avoid the, “Someone told me I should be on Twitter” crap. After all, not everyone belongs on Twitter. Why on earth would you work with such an opinionated redhead?

Specialties:

SEO copywriting for the web, branding & identity solutions, tag lines, social media marketing, social networking for businesses, blogging and ghost blogging, short & long-form fiction/non-fiction, editorial, advertising copy, financial markets, real estate, extreme sports.

I’m also rather talented when it comes to devouring jalapeño poppers and the random bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, can belt-out Janis Joplin’s “Mercedes Benz” a capella, and do (so I’m told) brilliant vocal impressions of both Golum/Smegel from Lord of the Rings and Bart Simpson (not from Lord of the Rings).

In the winter, I climb ice and other snowy structures. Crampons have nothing to do with my menstrual cycle. In the warmer months, I’m on a bike or rock face or mountain top when I’m not breaking bones.

(Not-So) Interesting Factoids About The Redhead

• Increasing Body Count: two ex-husbands, one ex-fiancé. We’re not even going to get into ex-boyfriends.
• Favorite Word in the English Language (besides “fuck”): linoleum
• Higher than a Kite: I’ve successfully summited Mt. Kilimanjaro (19, 340 ft – 9/08), Mt. Ranier via the Emmons Glacier (14,411 ft – 8/08) and Mt. Whitney (14,505 ft – 6/08)
• Dumb Blonde? I once said something outrageously stupid at LAX.
• The Name Game: My Car – The Hoopty. My dogs: Hippopotamus and Penelope. My cats: Peter and Moto.
• Goddamn WIZ: Scored 1500 on my SATs, beeyatch. Full-ride nerdalicious scholarship to college. Graduated Summa Cum-Laude from High school (9th out of 360) and Cum Laude from college (lazy).
• Jobs I’ve Had: costume character at an amusement park, sales clerk at the Merry-Go-Round, sales clerk at T.J. Maxx, waitress at TGIFridays and Red Lobster, cocktail waitress at a bar of ill-repute, four years pimping diamonds for various diamond & gemstone brokers, theatrical stagehand (5 years), professional rigger, site engineer for a telecommunications company (read: pulling cable & planning  jobs), financial advisor, executive assistant, rep for a hard money lending firm, freelance writer (no shit…for realz), copywriter, personal trainer…
• Brick Shithouse? I used to be a competitive bodybuilder.
• Say Cheese! I have a photographic memory.