Do you really treat your bathroom like this at home? Ladies, c’mon.

Expectations might be the mother of disappointment, but timelines are the redheaded bastard stepchild. Whose timeline are YOU on?

Set down your snark gun for a moment, shut your mouth and think before you speak. Just an idea.

The Redhead has a Private Pyle-style major malfunction and gets slapped. Where is YOUR truth?

Symptoms and causes – do you know which one you’re dealing with? Another Bitch Slap. Brace for impact!

Da-na-na-na-na-na-nah…they say it’s your birthday! Do NOT expect to get away with the same shit next year (pymgy marmoset enclosed).

The whining. Really. Seriously. We’re going to do this? Six reasons what you’re complaining about is total bullshit.

We need some slapping on thanks. Put down the green bean casserole and listen up.

You – yeah, you. The guy who’s used “overarching” nine times in a two minute conversation. *SMACK!*

It’s time to saddle-up the unicorns and grow a pair of balls – what’s YOUR excuse today? The slapping continues.