What is North Social?

It’s probably best described as a magical yeti that bakes you calorie-free cupcakes all day long – something you never thought you’d find and entirely too good to be true. In a nutshell, North Social is a company that’s built a wide array of Facebook apps that help those with fan pages trick them out to their heart’s content, quickly and easily. They offer everything from apps that handle welcome page functions to sweepstakes, fan-only offers and more. They offer 18 apps in all along with North Contact, their own proprietary contact/subscriber management system (more on that later)

How Can I Preview North Social’s Suite of Facebook Apps?

If you’d like, you can bop over to the RedheadWriting fan page where I have the Signup App activated for my welcome/new fan sequence (a series of 3 screens), along with the Twitter app, RSS feed app and Partner Pages app all customized for my needs. You WILL have to become a fan of RedheadWriting in order to view everything, so if you prefer, you can check out North Social’s Facebook fan page instead since my brand ain’t for everyone. Their page show EVERY app they’ve created in action – just use the navigation on the left side of the page to review the apps in action. Their website also has a custom video demo of every app in their library, and the upside? It’s all in easy-to-understand English and yes – setting up the apps is as easy as the videos make it out to be.

What Does North Social Cost?

Simple – just check out their pricing page. It’s based on the number of fans your page has, which I think is quite reasonable. Plans are as low as $19/month (I use the $30/month plan) and can service one fan page with each subscription. If you’re an agency or consultant with multiple clients, the Enterprise edition might make sense because you can service up to 5 pages with that plan. And before you piss and moan about the lack of a free edition -yeah, we’re not even going to talk about that. You don’t go to work in the morning for free so why should they? Pay the nice people who just made your Facebook world THAT much easier.

The only other costs you’ll have to take into account are design costs for a graphic designer to create the images you’ll use in the apps. If you need a referral, just ping me and I’ll connect you with the gal who created my landing pages and custom headers. She’s bright, talented and quite reasonable on the pricing front. Just ask!

What’s With North Contact, the Proprietary CMS from North Social?

I’m still digging into the details, but I’ll share what I’ve discerned thus far. If you’re using Feedburner to burn your blog feed, there’s a lot that’s out of your control, mainly marketing. If you’re trying to capture more subscribers for your blog or newsletter, North Contact is a free social CRM tool that can help you do just that. Here are the three main functions that North Social can help your execute:

• Capturing user information (name/email and more).
• Creating email campaigns, complete with tracking features and ability to use HTML email templates.
  • Their system also allows you to test an email design template across all of the major email providers to lessen then chance your messages are marked as spam. Totally sweet.
• Reporting on email campaigns.

Unfortunately there is no RSS integration, so for the meantime, I’m capturing email addresses of new subscribers here and importing them into Aweber. Hopefully, they’ll add this functionality, but for now, it’s a great place to build a database of Facebook page fans and build email marketing campaigns to them if you want to keep everything in one place.

In Closing…

North Social probably has one of the most brilliant email marketing drip campaigns on the planet and their blog The Drop is an endless supply of information you can actually use. I hope you’ve enjoyed the introduction to my latest geek out and hope to see you over on the fan page soon!

Image shamelessly swiped from BeingCheryl.com

Just a quick snippet today – Cheryl Harrison features The Redhead on her blog, Being Cheryl today! Check out her first installment of Badass Bitches: Erika Napoletano IS Redhead Writing. Special thanks to Cheryl for thinking I’m interview-worthy and most importantly, for letting me be me.

And, if you haven’t added her blog to your RSS feed, it’s a steady stream of thought-provoking posts on social media and marketing. I’ve always felt that Cheryl IS a good idea. She puts them out in the ether for your consideration as well.

When you’re at a certain place in your business, the 101-level common conference fodder doesn’t cut it. Sometimes the 201 “next step” sessions are even a snore. While we all needed these at one point and I frequently teach them along with several of my colleagues, WE are looking for something to add extraordinary value to our respective businesses.

I was at an all-day conference last week up in Ft. Collins and during the closing session, they had us share our Likes, Improves and Favorites openly with the group. I said that they should price the conference higher, as I felt the information shared throughout the day was worth TEN TIMES the $15 or $25 I’d paid. And then a gal in the audience piped up that she’d paid $30 and that she had to really consider the investment she was making in her business at that price.

So I did The Redhead thing. I said if you have to consider $30 as an “investment-level decision,” then maybe you’re in the wrong business. And if you don’t have $30 to invest in your business, who the hell to you think is going to invest in you? Hey – I’m not saying piss money away willy-nilly, but anyone who considers themselves a business owner needs to stop thinking about the revenue and start thinking about the value.

Revenue will come.

Value is built. Earned. Layered. Instilled.

Value becomes the language you speak and the service you offer. If you don’t understand how to build value, a 101 level “How to Blog for Business” course is just going to leave you with more questions than answers.

Back in March, Shelly Kramer of v3IM told me I was going to SOBCon. Given I’ve been called worse than an SOB in my lifetime, I was still a bit hesitant as it was a “conference.” She asked me to trust her. She introduced me to Liz Strauss via Twitter. I happened upon Terry Starbucker’s blog. These were the organizers. They didn’t suck. FINE! I’ll go, you nag. SOB apparently stood for something like Small Online Business. Sonofa…who knew?

The weekend I spent in Chicago for SOBCon in April of this year was one of the best of my professional life (and it sure as hell beat my first honeymoon by a mile). And now Liz and Terry are bringing SOBCon to Colorado for a 1.25 day event.

I’m not going to try to sell you on the conference. YOU need to decide if you feel the $31 per hour price tag is a reasonable investment for your business. But here’s what you can expect to find when you walk into the room (and I’ll bet it’s different than any other “conference” you’ve attended):

• There’s no one in the room that’s more important than anyone else
• Speakers are designed to spark conversations, not be the Holy Gospel (heck – each panel of two only has 20 minutes!)
• A community of business owners willing to SHARE
• A pleasant lack of poopy penguins trying to shove their business card in your face
• A significant lack of schwag – unless you consider a room full of people who are ready to help YOU move your business forward “schwag.” (For the record, I do.)
• People ready to challenge you to stop screwing around and start clobbering obstacles like it’s a Whack-a-Mole game.

I’m speaking on a panel with John Cushman, CEO of Solany LLC (a Denver-based document management & scanning/consulting firm). There are people from all walks of like and every line of business imaginable. And frankly, I’d love to meet you. I left April’s annual 3-day SOBCon event with the following:

• 3.2 million new contacts I was HAPPY to have in my Twitter stream
• Three people with whom I currently do business
• The understanding of where I want RedheadWriting LLC to go in the next year (and if you come to the conference, I’ll tell you about it – it’s not what you might think <insert Mission: Impossible theme here>)
• Friends. I simply can’t have enough of them. I even met people I’d communicated with for TWO YEARS online in person
• A new understanding of the alphabet thanks to Hank Wasiak (and if you don’t know this man, you should find a way to get that process moving).
• Two guest bloggers who have appeared on Redhead Writing (the no-BS and beautiful Carol Roth and the Apple-addicted Doyle Albee).
• And a boat load of things you’ll have to meet me to discover.

SOBCon isn’t about the “how to.”

It’s about the “how do YOU…”

It’s a dialogue – and I hope you’ll join us on September 17-18 here in Denver (OK – Broomfield, for the Boulder snobs who can’t bring themselves to drive to “Denver!”) It’s time for a business weigh-in.

Go fast, turn left – a descriptor usually reserved for redneck endeavors like NASCAR – is alive and well in Boulder, Colorado and I eat it up like a fat kid with an unattended cake. Welcome to Boulder Indoor Cycling.

About six weeks ago, I alluded to a “covert adventure” on Twitter and Facebook. It was track cycling at the Boulder velodrome. I’d had a jones to try it…well, since I moved here last year…and finally took the plunge right after Veloswap. I figured what the hell? It’s a bike. How hard can it be?

Holy motherfucking shit. And I mean that in the most ladylike way possible.

I let the cat out of the bag a bit earlier this month in my post Dear Guru and/or Expert (aka what track cycling has taught me about social media douchebags), but today I’m going to let you know what your options are if you’d like to come indulge in some track-flavored crack with me.  I never thought I’d say this, but riding around 143m with 45 degree banking in the turns is super freaking awesomeness. And yes, “awesomeness” is a word (a technical cycling term).

If you ride a bike, you can ride at the velodrome. Hell, even if you don’t really ride a bike, there’s an app for that, too. The awesome folks out at Boulder Indoor Cycling (BIC) make it easy for anyone to catch the Fixed Gear Fever. I’ll take you through a step-by-step process on how anyone in the Greater Denver/Boulder area can see what all the go fast/turn left fuss is about:

Step 1: Annual Membership
It’s only $30, people. That’s less than $3/month. And no – you can’t do an “installment plan.”

Step 2: Get Your Gear On
All you need to ride at the track is a helmet, your own cycling shoes (no MTB shoes), and pedals (clipless). And you’re going to want to grab a pair of cycling shorts, too. Just sayin’.

Step 3: Whet Your Appetite
For those new to velodrome cycling, you have three options to see if one gear and four banked turns are for you:

“Oh shit – that looks crazy, but I really do want to try it…just once” deal (aka Just Once)
Well, you can try it, just once.  With every membership comes one FREE Track 101 lesson. This is a one hour long class that will get you on the bike, explain the fundamental differences between road and track cycling, and how to come on and off the track safely. It’s fast. It’s free. You can run screaming after the fact if that suits you, but I’m bettin’ you’ll be back for more track crack. Click here to view the Track Schedule.

“I’ve gotta do this” deal (aka Take A Class)
Beginning January 4, 2010, the next series of classes begin at the track and run through March 14. The session is 10 weeks long and classes one hour each. You have two options to get going on the track: Beginner and Intermediate. Click here to view the Track Schedule

• Beginner – Really only for those who aren’t bike-savvy at all. If you’re not, have no fear – the coaches at BIC will get you accustomed to riding a bike with one gear and no brakes. The 10-week class series is only $149 + your $30 membership. ($15/class – HAWT)
• Intermediate - If you’re a recreational road or mountain biker, this is your deal. Less of the basic “bike” fundamentals yet solid instruction on how track bikes differ in handling and technique from other multi-gear bikes, along with pace lines, proper passing techniques, flying laps (or Ride Like Hell), introductory racing concepts and how to handle your bike well enough across the entire breadth of the track. If you master the skills in this level of class, you’ll have your Membership Card signed, thus allowing you to ride in Open Riding sessions at-will. Having your card signed is a privilege and not automatic, so buckle down and don’t fall down! The 10-week series is $169 + your $30 membership.

BUT WHAT IF I DON’T HAVE A TRACK BIKE? NO SWEAT!
Boulder Indoor Cycling has track bikes for rental for anyone who takes a class! I’m 5′4 and there are bikes that fit me, all the way up to a 6-some-odd-foot dude. On the first day you take a class, show up about a half hour early and the staff is more than happy to get you fit on the best frame size available and show you how to adjust the seat height and position to fit you best. Don’t worry – if you fall in love with track cycling, there are plenty of shops in Boulder that sell track bikes (most are under $1200 off the rack) and if you really fall in love, there are multiple custom frame builders like Tiemeyer Cycles and Primus Mootry that will create a custom, pimp ride for you.

Now, as I get ready to head off to Estes Park for the day for my own Tiemeyer fitting, don’t discount track. If you’ve got a question, pick up the phone and give the staff at BIC a call at 303-CYCLING (303.292.5464) – they’re all passionate about track and will tell you anything you want to know. And ladies – if you’re intimidated about riding with a testosterone-fueled herd, they’ve got an exclusive Ladies’ Intermediate class coming up beginning January 4 as well! (call and ask about it!).

Want to take a virtual ride at the track? Watch this cool helmet cam video and see for yourself!

Boulder Indoor Cycling
3550 Frontier Avenue, Suite A
Boulder, CO 80301
303-CYCLING (303.292.5464)

Follow Boulder Indoor Cycling on Twitter
Join BIC on Facebook (new Fan Page coming soon!)

Directions from Denver:

36 to Foothills Parkway
Exit Pearl St.
Left under the underpass
First left is Frontier
Pull into 2nd driveway on your right (you’re there!)

You see, I am inherently GIRL. I work makeup on the summit of Kilimanjaro. I’d never deign to put lip gloss on at the dinner table, but I will sneak off to the bathroom and check mah haaaaar. I love high heels, sexy boots, skirts and dresses. I own things that are pink.

And I lurv jewelry. Lurvs it, preeeecious.

Funky, eclectic jewelry. Tiny silver studs that come from Target, a chunky necklace I found at Goodwill…it makes no matter. Accessories are an attitude – the rainbow freakin’ sprinkles on my wardrobe’s cupcake.

Neither of these ladies has any idea I’m writing this column today, but it’s designed to do three things:

• Introduce you to two artisans whose respective talent is mind-boggling
• Help you get some of that holiday shopping (whether for you or others) done and done
• Share the financial ruin I frequently endure at said artisan’s hands

Laurette O’Neil – Silver Jewelry Design

I met Laurette back in 2006 at an art show in Mt. Charleston, Nevada. Stunned by her simple lines, each of her pieces combined some rare elements that hinted a little in the “fuck you” direction. I liked it. Since then, my collection has grown to include everything from simple amber stud earrings to multiple rings and countless necklaces.

She has one rule, however: don’t you dare put a ring on your pinkie finger. And she’ll tell ya, too.

She and her husband make every tool that makes every pattern, shape, design and clasp. Each piece is 100% hand-crafted. The craftsmanship is unquestionable and while her designs aren’t for everyone, I have people ask me time and time again: “Excuse me – I love your ring/earrings/necklace. Where did you get that?”

My favorite pieces have to be:

Whatever your style, visit her online gallery and shop online. For rings, it’s easiest to call her or send an email with the size you need as you can’t select sizes on the website (yet!). Prices range from under $50 to over $500 – there’s something for every budget and if your gal is like me and could care less about sapphires, rubies and crappy chain store adornments – Laurette might be your gal. You can follow Laurette on Twitter. While not as “tweetie” as this redhead, she’s new to the web and social media and I have no doubt she’ll find her sea legs in short order!

Cara Ellison Halbirt – Studio 219

Cara and I figured out that we’ve known each other for (gulp) about thirty years. Not only an incredible woman and mother, she’s come into her own as an artisan of eclectic creations in silver and various beads. I own her delicate and flowing hand-twisted pearl earrings ($45), the yoga earrings ($35) and the Japanese cross earrings ($40). While I’m not an owner yet, her bracelets are in quite high demand as well and on my “for me” list for this holiday season.

You can read the story behind many of her pieces at the Studio 219 blog – a delightful window where Cara lets you into not only her life but her spiritual journey and yoga practice as well. If you love what she does (as I do), look up Studio 219 on Facebook and stay up to date on all of her newest designs. You can also follow my fellow redhead on Twitter @Cara19.

A closing word of thanks to both of these ladies. I’ve received no compensation for posting this entry from either of them other than their friendships. While I adore their work, I’ll take friendship over bling any day.

A year ago today, I packed up The Hoopty, two dogs and two cats and rolled 752 miles from Las Vegas to Denver. I’ve fallen in love with my new home and the exploration process this past year has been nothing short of a comedy of errors. One way streets, alley garages, recycling bins…SNOW. Christ on toast – you people really can’t drive on snow, y’know? All the more reason to stay at home with a book.

I love the smell of books. The sound of a cracking spine and the blurry, ring-shaped watermarks left on the covers. The way an entire corner of a book will curl back after being jammed onto an ill-sized bookshelf and how you have to peel each page apart the next time you read it.

More importantly, I love used books. I’ve long held that when you pick up a used book, you’re getting the wisdom and life experiences of the readers that came before you. I always wonder about the person whose name is scribed in pencil on the inside cover, especially cherishing that cursive characteristic of when men and women all were taught to write a certain way on ruled paper.

I stumbled across Mutiny Now Art, Books and Coffee here in Denver about a month after I’d arrived. Its storefront perched innocuously on the corner of Broadway and Ellsworth, I floated in when I had some time to kill prior to a blind date at Michelangelo’s across the street. There behind the counter, a man with a salt-and-pepper pompadour and Buddy Holly glasses smiled at me and said “welcome.” I’ve felt welcome there ever since.

Meet the man behind the glasses: Jack Jensen. Proprietor, artist and admitted asshole. (On the latter, I beg to differ.) Mutiny Now is a Denver gem: used books across the broadest spectrum you could imagine, classic vinyl and walls lined with thought-provoking eye candy. From admitted bibliophiles to ardent devotees of the bodice-ripper genre, Jack Jensen’s built an artistic empire with something for everyone. Well, almost everyone.

If you’re looking for the latest Oprah’s Book Club selection – fuck off. Save that treasure A Million Little Pieces (which he proudly displays with the Oprah sticker on the cover on a storefront display when he can wrangle a copy – a disc-shaped middle finger to the icon’s discerning taste in literature). Popular fiction is a rare find at Mutiny Now.

Instead, what you will find is a treasure trove of art in words nestled amongst a coffee bar (with sub-*bucks pricing) and an eclectic assortment of pop art that beckons your glance from walls on all sides.

I stopped by the store last week to speak with Jack and learn more about his little book nook. Little did I know it’s not so little:

• A larger philosophy section than the Tattered Cover
• The largest collection of art & art technique titles in Denver, if not the state
• The single largest collection of Black Studies titles in the state
• The largest selection of romance titles in the state
• Many of his sections offer more titles than the Denver Public Library

Holy shit. No shit?

No shit.

Mutiny Now earned its spot on my One Year Denver Anniversary Edition of Things that Don’t Suck column because it’s the first place I ever felt at home when I arrived in my new city. Whether I’m looking for a Stephen King title that I have somehow not read or I don’t know what I’m looking for at all, I go see Jack. He’s the real deal in customer service. Tell him what you like, love and hate and he’ll open your eyes to titles that will blow your mind. When’s the last time you got service like that at one of the corporate book behemoths?

There’s a single reason, however, that this place doesn’t suck: it’s not trying to be anything except exactly what it is. A bookstore, a refuge for those who want to use all five of their senses at once, a gallery that embraces artists and a cultural concierge at the helm to help you navigate. Simply stated, sheep don’t shop here.

I think this is the first time I’ve ever incited mutiny in an effort to get people on a ship. I know that the Kindle and the new Nook have techies all up in arms about the best new way to read a book, but I’ll tell ya:

You can all take your Kindles and whatnot and shove them someplace highly inappropriate.

You can’t crack the spine on a Kindle. The batteries on a book never go dead. The weight of a Kindle always feels the same. If someone else touches your Kindle, I’ll be you cry “thief.” Books are meant to be touched, read, cracked, dog-eared and shared. They’re a legacy. They’re like a dollar bill: one of the rare chances we have in life to hold something, if only for a little while, that’s taken a journey and traveled places we could never imagine.

Tell Jack that The Redhead says hi if you stop by.

Quick Facts

Mutiny Now Art, Books & Coffee
2 S. Broadway
Denver, CO 80209-1506
(303) 778-7579

Hours: 11 AM – 6 PM daily (M-Sun) for the holidays / closed Sundays on regular schedule

• Book Acquisitions: Jack gets most of his stock from estate and private library sales, but if you’ve got something interesting, give him a call. He’d be happy to have a look.
• New Books: Yep, he’s got ‘em. Look for selected titles from greats like Charles Bukowski under glass at the front of the shop (along with a pretty damn complete collection of paperback Peanuts comics!)
• Artists: Mutiny Now does gallery showings! He’d like to express that his store is your canvas and you’re not going to be looking at commissions that will make you wonder why you do what you do. Interested in showing? Give him a call. It’s your show. (He’s been showing art in Denver since 1979!)
• Pulp Fiction: Before your next trip, stop by the store and grab some pulp for the plane, train or automobile. Most mass market paperback fiction titles are a mind-blowing $3 each and there’s always a “blowout” section up front with tons of kickass titles you wanted to grab but never bought.
• Out of Print: Where else are you going to find literary tidbit that the behemoths don’t/won’t/can’t carry? Stop by and tell Jack what you’re looking for. For example: a guy came into Mutiny Now looking for Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle and was treated to a shelf housing over twenty-two different Sinclair titles. Read more “weird stuff.” He’s also great with tracking down titles if it’s not in stock.
• The Holidays: Check out the art. If you have a love for Warhol and disdain for anything Georgia O’Keefe, I’m bettin’ you’ll find something you like.

*All images in this post are copyrighted by Jack Jensen and used with his explicit permission. Don’t be an asshole. Jack’s happy to share his art with you – don’t copy the images or use them elsewhere without his permission.

Give a Flying Fuck

I shared this on Twitter this week and it got more retweets than a picture of Sarah Palin’s beaver. Actually, this is better than Sarah Palin’s beaver. It’s the answer for all those who could never previously give a flying fuck. Well, now you can. For £17.99 (roughly $28 USD), you can give your boss, father-in-law or other loved one the most portable fuck possible – available at Play.com (UK customers only, dammit all). Batteries are, naturally, not included.

Feck the Halls

Every year when you set up the Christmas tree, you say it. Some people say it more than others. In my house, it was one of dad’s favorite words at the holidays! Why not keep family traditions alive with this fabulous F-bomb ornament from Urban Outfitters? Sure, the stocking were hung by the chimney with care, but you hit your fucking thumb with the hammer in the process, right?

Attitude on the Go

Where’s your flying fuck when you need it? Carry it with you and never be at a loss again with this adorable Angry Flower Tote from Zazzle.com. Starting at only $25.15 (and you can always find Zazzle coupons here), give that irreverent girl – or flamboyant, irreverent gay man – in your life a tool that they can really use this holiday season? (Perfect for porting fucking menorahs and the damn challah bread over the Hanukkah season, too!)

#Fbombing Awesome Gift

Everyone knows The Redhead swears like a George Carlin Wannabe according to CurseBird.com. Why not get that fan-fucking-tastic person their very OWN Curse Bird this year? This awesome t-shirt from T-Shirt Hell starts at only $19 and is available in both men’s and women’s styles. It’s more attractive than a Fail Whale and something to throw on when you’re doing the Walk of Shame.

You Gave Me a Fucking Book?

Give the twisted scholar (or perhaps, your mother) an academic account of the f-bomb. Documented over 320 pages, The F Word by Jesse Sheidlower rests on The Redhead’s bookshelf already. A steal at $16.95 list, those local to Denver can pick it up at the Tattered Cover (who recently hosted a signing event for Mr. Sheidlower, though I was getting laid that night so I wasn’t so broken up over missing the event). If you’re not local to Denver, buy it from the Tattered Cover anyway and support independent booksellers. Maybe you’ll see a book by me in one of them soon.

Another Fucking Book

From the book itself: Dirty Talk – Trust me, she wants it. If she didn’t, she’d fuck a mime. Speaking of, did you know Marcel Marceau was divorced three times? Enough said. That’s my kinda gal. Eve Kingsley’s Just Fuck Me is the ideal gift for your pansified rugby pals or your girlfriends who bitch (but apparently don’t moan) about an uninteresting sex life. And a cheap fucking gift, at that (list price $14.95).

Make Your Own Fucking Greeting Card

While Someecards.com is where you can find classic e-cards like “The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to to fuck you on the floor” and “Let’s safeguard ourselves against swine flu by only doing it doggie style,” you can now create your own twisted greetings. Choose from hundreds of stock images and background colors and get randy this holiday season! Finally – a fucking e-card that doesn’t have duckies and bunnies on it. Unless you’re into that. And for all of you frugal motherfuckers, Someecards.com is FREE.

Give a “Go Fuck Yourself”

OK, so maybe this is on my Christmas/birthday list. But isn’t the Lelo Elise vibrator the sexiest little toy you’ve ever seen? Not only will your kids not know it’s a vibrator, but your partner won’t be jealous of it because you’re a 120lb white girl and you can finally get rid of that 10″ vibrating piece of flesh you’ve had in the bedside table drawer for 3 years. Disclosure: I am a compensated columnist for ToyWithMe.com, but they have not given me a vibrator as compensation for the link love. I just think it’s the prettiest little “go fuck myself” I’ve ever seen. And I think the girl in your life just might agree with me.

***Special thanks to Will Price for turning me on to a couple of these gift ideas. How well my friends know me.

In 1982, I was ten. The proud owner of my first AM radio/cassette jam box and a fervent voter for the radio station that would play each day on the bus ride home from school. From days of thighs sticking to green vinyl seats piped in white as I waited for my stop in the sweltering Houston heat to sitting on a barstool in Denver, Colorado (gimp leg propped-up on a partner-in-crime’s lap), I never thought I’d see the man who sang of the mysterious Vegemite sandwich over the crackly bus speakers sing those words live. But last night, I did.

Colin Hay, former front man of 80s sensation Men @ Work, stopped by Denver last night, selling-out the Soiled Dove Underground in Lowry. Much like the Arc Angels show I recently caught at the Bluebird, I scored tickets and didn’t quite know what I was in for. Having been a fan of Colin’s long-ago hit machine along with many of his tunes made popular by the series Scrubs, I had no real knowledge about the man behind the music.

No more.

Holy shit, this man is funny. A master storyteller (glaringly apparent in his lyrics), our group was amused by tales of watching Batman buy coffee (as only a Californian could muse, “Ah, there’s Batman. He lives here, too.”), his laser-like precision in dealing with random (and irrelevant) audience remarks with a devilish school boy grin and tales of touring with Ringo. The entire show was more like an intimate Sessions or Crossroads taping than a concert, an artful weaving or stories and songs that still have my head swimming and soul humming today.

And his band. I had just as much fun watching his lead guitarist stroke his series of guitars like a lover at dawn,  each note picked and strummed returning his touch. Fucking sexy to watch and I was glad someone was rubbing my gimp foot for the better part of the show (gratuitous and self-serving, maybe, but you can’t really masturbate in public, now, can you?). Guitarist aside, there’s no one in that band that doesn’t contribute to the bottom line and it’s pretty evident that they roll together like rice and raw fish in their purple and silver tour bus. While it’s not the Gulfstream IV of Colin’s days touring with Ringo, I think the bus suits them much better. And there’s not an ounce of pretension held-over from being a chart-topping 80s band in Colin’s show – his sense of humor permeates every note played. He’s a man who can laugh at himself  - and you’re left with no choice but to surrender and laugh with him.

Personal faves from last night’s show are:

Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You

Beautiful World

There’s Water Over You (on his new CD, American Sunshine – release date 8/18/09)

How often is it that your childhood collides with your adulthood and you’re left feeling, if only for two hours and fifteen minutes (!!), like Lily Tomlin sitting in that big-ass rocking chair, feet dangling above the ground? Wide-eyed, open eared, afraid to speak for fear if you do you’ll miss the sweetest note of the show…it was everything I could do to go to the bathroom ten minutes prior to the show’s end. Christ, I had to go – thankfully, the acoustics at the Soiled Dove Underground are hear-the-show-while-you-pee good.

I tasted Vegemite once and hold firm in my belief that it’s crap-flavored sand, but there’s no crap in what Colin Hay’s putting out these days. For this audiophile, Colin’s songs are a beautiful blend of lyric mastery mixed with a solid assembly of collaborative, kindred musical spirits who have no problem say it, “Fuck it. Let’s play.” Add an underlying smile and you’ve got what’s the best part of Men @ Work – the man who’s still at work twenty-seven years later.

A girl’s gotta eat. Last evening, my friend @caligater (owner of the funniest damn Gchat avatar on earth) recommended that we give this new joint uptown a try: Olivéa. I took a gander at their website, noticed they even had a gluten-free menu, and said shit-howdy: let’s do it!

Located close to Steuben’s and right across the street from Hamburger Mary’s, there’s convenient, albeit tight, parking in the lot adjacent on the corners of 17th and Washington (leave your SUV at home and opt for the sedan). There’s patio seating on the 17th Street sidewalk between the kitchen and front doors, ideal for idyllic Denver evenings, though we opted for a seat inside since temperatures at our 6pm reservation time were still kicking around in the 90s.

A minimalistic and modern interior doesn’t mean tight quarters or less-than-comfy seating arrangements. Being in a currently crippled state, the hostess conscientiously seated us at a two-top in the corner so I could prop my crutches up against the wall and be out of the way (thankya, dear!).

Now, one thing I despise when dining out is the standard pitch for bottled foreign water once your ass hits the seat. At Olivéa? Nada. Loved that. The table had a substantial and swank vase/urn/vat of Denver’s filtered finest at Cali’s and my beck and call. We hydrated at-will without fear of the financial repercussions.

Our server, Miles, was adorable and knowledgeable (shocker) and has a penchant for all things peach (so he told us). When I inquired about gluten-free options, he took me on a guided tour of the menu and mentioned each and every item that was or could be prepared gluten-free. He also indicated that he would check with the kitchen if I ordered something in question to confirm. Simply awesome.

The menu is one page, so you’ll avoid the horrific Cheesecake Factory-like overload stemming from some restaurants’ culinary ADD. Continental cuisine with a true Mediterranean flair, Cali enjoyed the most delectable Fairy Eggplants (delish!) while I enjoyed the Halibut Carpaccio and the Local Greens Salad with a Pedro Ximenez Vinaigrette (sans the manchego cheese). A sweet note about the Fairy Eggplant: they’re grown 40 feet away from the back door of the restaurant in an urban garden run by a local Denver woman. Talk about a zero carbon footprint and delicious to boot.

We finished our meal with a serving of two of their freshly-made sorbets: Peach Rhubarb and Strawberry Balsamic. Naturally sweet yet not overwhelming, it’s nice to not feel guilty after enjoying something so seemingly naughty.

Now here’s the best part: Fairy Eggplants + Halibut Carpaccio + Local Greens Salad + Sorbet Dessert = $31.36

Can I get an amen from the choir?

Olivéa has been open since May 2009 and took the place where AIX used to be. It’s extensively reviewed with four stars on Yelp and pleasantly surprised this picky, redheaded diner.

Want a tip? Join OpenTable.com and make your reservations for Olivéa (and other Denver dining establishments) through their system and earn 100 points per. A long-time member of OpenTable, I love my dining rewards certificates that I earn by using their system for something I have to do anyway and the certificates are redeemable at ANY OpenTable.com-affiliated restaurant.

Olivéa definitely does NOT suck and I’m looking forward to going back to enjoy their brand-new Happy Hour as well: $5 wine and food specials from 5-7pm Sunday through Thursday (bar and patio service only).

Get off your ass – ask for Miles. Enjoy some sorbet already.

This past weekend, the universe was looking down on me and rewarded me with a most awesome invitation to the Arc Angels concert at The Bluebird. Not only would this be my first concert at The Bluebird, but my first time seeing this famed Austin project in action. A rabid Stevie Ray Vaughan fan, the band includes Doyle Bramhall II and Charlie Sexton, both of Double Trouble fame. I don’t get out to see live music as much as I would like, and the concert had several pretty kickass things going for it:

• The Bluebird has some of the best acoustics of any live venue EVER.
• Moreso than watching a concert, the night was more like a audio peepshow watching friends jam in someone’s basement. The ease and comfort the band displayed was really a treat to watch. It was akin to catching a glimpse of a star on the rise, knowing that you’re poised to be one of those people who will one day soon say, “Yeah, I saw those guys when…”
• The “people watching ” aspect of the evening was simply outstanding. My companion and I scored primo seats sitting ON the bar in the balcony as were surrounded by people of an age that almost made me feel like a poseur for actually knowing some of the band’s history and digging their style. Though I lost the bet on when the post-middle aged guy directly in front of us would again break out into a raging air guitar solo, we got an intimate lesson on white sneakers, tube socks, wallet chains, black jeans, and bluetooth headsets.  It was fucking AWESOME and the fodder for much laughter. Whoooooooooooooo!

As in my previous mention of Denver’s Hot Robots, no band likes the “comparison” that identifies their music to the unfamiliar. Yet if you’re looking to add something to your iPod, the Arc Angels will fall into your classic Southern Rock category with a fine dash of polished blues, laced with a much-welcomed gritty edge. Think of them as the band whose CD you found on the floorboard of your car in a case that’s beat to shit and you slipped then into the dash with a modicum of curiosity.

And five years later (or in this band’s case – seventeen…it’s been that long since their last release), the CD is still in your staple rotation.

They’ve got a new album in the works and they’re launching a DVD this year. If you have the chance, check out their stylings or catch a show in a venue near you. As a gal who remembers that she was sitting in her Advanced Political Studies class in August of 1990 when I heard the news that Stevie Ray Vaughan had died, I’m glad that a part of his music lives on and has gone on to contribute to the groove that IS Austin, Texas. For some true Stevie-like stylings yet with their own brand of memorable riffs mixed in, check out their recording of Shape I’m In.  I don’t much fuck around when it comes to music. You won’t regret giving this Austin phenom a listen and/or viewing.

***Special thanks goes to my concertgoing companion who made sure I didn’t bust my ass on the stairs and for spotting the bar for my gimp girl self to sit on.