If you imaging that said in a Kermit the Frog or otherwise Muppets-style voice, it’s much more impressive.

Exactly 365 days ago, I wrote about blue balls and lighting fires. The next day, I gave you a holiday-flavored Bitch Slap about truth as I prepared to set out on a mobile phase of my life. And on December 22, 2011, I find myself at a bit of a loss for words, which pretty much sucks since I’m supposed to deliver something pithy to your inbox today before I close for the holidays at 2pm today. Shit, shit, shit.

The only thing that comes to mind is the phrase “without hope or agenda.” It’s from the movie Love, Actually — a film that finds its way into my DVD player on occasion. Aside from the part where a member of the Prime Minister’s household drops the f-bomb, there’s something about this scene that just makes me think…

what will you endeavor to do today without hope or agenda?

We all have some sort of agenda and are whores for something. Self-interest begins at the genetic level, as we’re built to survive. But with the holidays looming, isn’t now a fine time to realize that the best things in life the ones we undertake without hope or agenda?

Over the past year, I’ve had some of the most enjoyable days, blissful dates, and otherwise memorable moments because I said fuck it and let go. Without hope or agenda, I jumped in (with equal parts smiling and skepticism). And you know what? Coming out on the other side was a goddamned riot. There hasn’t been once where I walked away from a sans hope/agenda moment and gone Well, that was about as memorable as Paris Hilton in a spelling bee.

So, all I’ve got today is a question for you: what will you endeavor to undertake without hope or agenda?

And that’s all I’ve got today. So happy fuckin’ holidays – without hope or agenda. Thanks for reading and even more importantly, thanks for commenting and all of the emails I get in response to my blogs every week. They really are the best part of what I’m lucky enough to do for a living.

I just really like the picture of this guy...

This is the first installment of Fuck Yeah! Friday – a column where I’ll feature a business or initiative:

• Looking for funding
• In need of support
• Or just doing shit righty-o alright

If you’re interested in your business being featured on a blog written by a columnist for Entrepreneur Magazine with a metric shit ton of loyal readers and a highly interactive community, drop your proposals to the Fuck Yeah! Friday submission form.

My passions for startups AND the arts are never a question. It’s also never a question that I think my kickass photographer, Darren Mahuron of Summit Studios, is a fuckin’ genius.

Yeah, I said fuckin’ genius. And it’s not a term I use loosely.

So when I heard that Darren, who is perhaps THE driving force behind the collaborative nature of Fort Collins, Colorado’s thriving arts scene, is opening a new gallery this December, I asked: HOW CAN I HELP?

The answer was to ask my audience: how can YOU help Darren?

He tells his story better than anyone and recently spoke at the inaugural TEDx Fort Collins. Some of the attendees were “confused” when Darren build a TED talk video instead of giving a live presentation. Well, shit howdy – what’s the confusion? Darren’s an artist and did exactly what TED is designed to do: deliver ideas worth spreading – and who’s to say what the medium has to be? You can view that video here, but in the meantime…

Let’s talk about how you can help

Darren launched a Kickstarter campaign to get the new studio of the ground. What’s even more kickass is that they’ve reached their initial funding goal of $5,500 (in a day and age where lots of startups can’t raise $500).

So why am I blogging about it today?

The initial outlay of cash to open the new studio is in excess of $10,000 — $5,500 barely begins to put a dent in what Darren and the Fort Collins arts community is putting into the renovation and launch. So…

Got a buck?

I had a glaring moment of clarity yesterday as I was out running errands and pulling out of a shopping center parking lot. There was a young lady – no older than in her very early twenties – sitting at the exit of the parking lot with her dog and a single bag. Her cardboard sign said, “Just want to go home, saving for bus fare.” Knowing full well that dogs can’t go on buses, I was curious. So I headed over to the supermarket and grabbed a small bag of dog food, a few boxes of breakfast bars, and some fruit and put it all in a reusable grocery sack. I also hit up the ATM for $60. I headed back over to where I saw her, parked my car, and had a chat with her. The dog would be staying here if she couldn’t find a way to get her home, but she wanted to go to Chicago. She’d followed a boy. Shit hit the fan. Shelters don’t take pets. I handed her the bag and cash, no additional questions asked, got in my car and drove away.

However you choose to spend your money in this economy

Why not spend it in a way that has the potential to start something? Feed something. Or even, someone. Feed their stomachs, hearts, souls, passions, or even their dogs?

I never present you with a cause that I haven’t personally donated to and this one is no different. I’m in for $100 and maybe a few of you will join me. In a day and age where arts education is being cut in our public schools, shouldn’t we find a way to keep these artistic resources alive for those who will thrive because they continue to exist?

Watch the video. And if nothing else, enjoy its quirks. If you’re so inclined, Kickstarter lets you donate as little as $1. And the next time you’re in Fort Collins, Colorado, stop by and see what the generosity and support of people like you were able to create – all with a little giving.

It’s Thanksgiving, ain’t it?

You can donate to this Kickstarter campaign HERE.

But the shit that matters is anything but all of that.

The things I’ve come to realize matter the most over the course of my 38 years aren’t the massive material things or quakes we set loose on an unsuspecting humanity. They’re…well, they’re emotions. The things we feel and the feelings we remember. Your first kiss. The day your very first client paid you and the check was in the name of your business. The first lost deal (followed by the next one won). I can’t sit here an apply an emotion to those situations because I have my own memories as you do yours. But what I can do is pay a bit more attention to my bucket list of things I never want to forget and yearn to experience. While we’ll never have everything ticked off the list the day we die, I know the best I can hope for is to have made a goddamned college try at having my emotions run the gamut.

So this is my list. Maybe some of the things on it are yours. Some of the things I’ve done – many I have not. But I’ll tell you that my best memories come from things I’ve read, seen or heard about and the subsequent cry from my soul tells me that they belonged on the list. Feel free to add yours, share your tick list experiences. It’s people like you that inspire the twisted like of me and maybe some of you will find inspiration here to do the tough things, easy things and everything in between and refine your list for living well and running a damn fine race across the emotional gauntlet of human existence.

1. Climb a mountain because you can – or more importantly, because you think you can’t.
2. Skip rocks on a pond.
3. Jump in a pile of leaves wearing incredibly nice clothing.
4. Let the dogs on the bed/sofa and fall asleep with them.
5. Travel somewhere you don’t speak the language and figure it out.
6. Forgive someone you never thought you were capable of forgiving.
7. Trek across Nepal
8. Climb the Khumbu Ice Falls
9. Travel with a single suitcase for a month and see how much you can truly live without.
10. Never leave an opportunity to say I love you unsaid – you never know if you’ll get another chance.
11. Be kinder to yourself with each passing day, as we’re our own worst critics.
12. Learn to fence – swordplay is fun.
13. After the age of 30, ride on the handlebars of someone’s bike.
14. Know when to wear your seatbelt and put on a life preserver, but discover the feeling of working without a net.
15. Take your parents on their dream vacation.
16. Give someone that change in your car console instead of worrying about paying the parking meter.
17. Make “thank you” a permanent staple in your vocabulary.
18. Look at a member of the same sex and find their beauty without feeling “gay.”
19. Make a conscious effort to stop at summertime lemonade stands, even if the drinks suck. Overpay if possible.
20. Hold the hand of someone who’s dying and give then every ounce of love you possess.
21. Cry more often.
22. Let people see your cry more often.
23. Smile at the loud kid in the shopping cart behind you in line more often than you wish that they’d spontaneously combust.
24. Take the middle seat on the airplane – we’re all getting there at the same time.
25. Skip the hotel and discover the beauty of sleeping under a blanket of stars – bug bites, stiff necks and all.
26. Walk more than you drive.
27. Take six months and one backpack or suitcase and travel. Anywhere.
28. Allow someone to take the credit for something you did – just to see them shine.
29. Every time you want to shop online, make a donation to charity instead.
30. Talk to one stranger every day.
31. Learn to sail.
32. See how many days in a row you can go without spending a dime.
33. Apologize. Lots.
34. Ride a horse so fast that you don’t know if you’re going to laugh, cry, die – or all three.
35. Answer less email. Pick up the phone more often.
36. Know the difference in the way the sand feels on a beach in Japan and a beach in Florida.
37. Take a river trip in a canoe with a cooler that contains only water and booze and six boxes of Cheezits.
38. Touch a penguin (not an euphemism).
39. See as many concerts as you can – it’s the opportunity to see people who are living their passion for your benefit.
40. Stand in Times Square at midnight on New Year’s.
41. Learn to fish.
42. Find a charity you believe in and give all you can and in every way possible.
43. Find something new to potentially fail at every week – because among the failures, you’ll find pearls of enormous success.
44. Talk openly and often to the people you’ve lost – they’re somewhere, can hear you and appreciate the conversation.
45. Learn to fall. The best ways I’ve found so far are through rock and ice climbing. There’s an art to it.
46. Reach out to friends you’ve lost touch with, even if they never answer you back.
47. Have more conversations with kids – they’re so fucking smart, it’s scary.
48. Get up on stage in front of hundreds of people – even if it’s only as a tech to turn on the microphone. The view and perspective are astounding.
49. Sit in a car under a streetlight with someone you love, hold them longer than is comfortable and watch the rain drip on the windshield.
50. Make a list of three things that scare the living shit out of you and try each one. And it’s okay if you find that they still scare the living shit out of you.
51. Ride a bike with coaster breaks after the age of 35.
52. Ride a bike with no brakes at all.
53. Stop being afraid of food and try as many kinds as you can.
54. Commit to having people in your life who are honest and interested in you living an incredible life – and commit yourself to them in return. Others? They just don’t have a place.
55. Spell dirty words with your alphabet soup.
56. Plant flowers. Take care of them. Be sad when they die.
57. Take a risk with your business and stop playing it safe – no great reward was ever achieved without equally great risk. And do this repeatedly and as a matter of course. If you don’t scare the shit out of yourself every day, what kind of business are you building?

More important than the list of things above is the pure act of doing something. While there is solace in the status quo, “quo” never gets anyone anywhere. I’m lucky to have people in my life who Do and inspire me to Do every day. If you find yourself lacking here, maybe it’s time for new people. Add that one to your bucket list:

get new people.

If you’ve never seen Amber speak, it’s something that should definitely be added to your Business Enhancement Bucket List. As someone who attends and speaks at multiple conferences throughout the year, there are some pretty lackluster speakers you can lose an hour of your life to. I wouldn’t be part of the team bringing her to Colorado if that were the case. Animated, insightful and human, Amber’s one of those speakers who grabs you in the first two minutes and won’t let you go until she’s signed your book when the hour is over. Not only that, she’s a rock-solid lady who avoids the dish-and-dash routine and hangs with her audience both before and after the fact.

What’s the Dealio? What Will I Get for an Hour of My Time?

What will you get? Ossum, that’s what. And just in case you’re not interested in ossum, here’s a more pragmatic breakdown:

At each event, Amber will address the “Seven Shifts To Make Businesses Faster, Smarter & More Social.” Whether you’re a one-person rodeo or a company with hundreds of employees, there’s something for any business that’s interested in becoming more nimble and efficient with their marketing strategies.

Amber’s presentation will teach attendees how to:

• Strip away silos and overgrown business processes and create a culture of NOW;
• Hire and empower a new type of employee who is adept at pattern recognition, human relations, and immediate analysis;
• Organize internal teams for maximum external impact, and empower every employee as a marketer (even if they’re not);
• Listen at the point of need and answer the social telephone;
• Travel the “Humanization Highway” and respond effectively and persuasively to customer inquiries;
• Plan for, find and manage real-time crises; and,
• Redesign success metrics in a business world that’s increasingly instantaneous.

Hey, Erika – Can I Get In for Free?

I dunno. I could probably arrange that if you want to pay Amber’s mortgage. The event is a $25 ticket. Why? Well, here are some things you might not know about how things work with published authors:

• Free books: Hahahahaha! Yeah. They might get 20 complimentary copies. So book tours are arranged to let various communities meet the author(s), talk about the book and let readers get some one-on-one time. Oh, and to sell books. Every attendee of these events will receive a copy of The NOW Revolution – that’s what your ticket price covers.
• Book tours: Unless you’re Seth Godin, Steven King or the awesomeness that is The Oatmeal, authors foot the bill for all their travel and expenses to get out and promote their books. The team that’s bringing Amber to the Front Range is absorbing 100% of the costs, except the books, to bring her expertise and message to the local business community. There’s nothing in it for us except being a part of a great event and we wouldn’t do it if we didn’t love the book and its message.

Fine, I’ll Pay. How Do I RSVP?

It’s easy-peasy. (And thank you for not arguing with The Redhead.) Here are the details, and we hope to see you there:

Denver Event

Thursday, May 12 at 6pm at The Rackhouse Pub (208 S. Kalamath)

Facebook event (for sharing with your folk)

Buy Your Ticket Here

Boulder Event

Friday, May 13 at 8am at Metzger Associates (5733 Central Ave.)

Facebook Event (for sharing with your folk)

Buy Your Tickets Here

About Your Event Sponsors

These two events are sponsored by Metzger Associates, the Mile High Social Media Club, PRSA/Colorado Chapter and RedheadWriting – four companies/organizations dedicated to bringing value to the Front Range business communities.

image via CreativeCommons.org

I ventured out yesterday to be with people. Yeah, I know that sounds nothing like an accomplishment of sorts, but my public appearances lately have been limited. I spoke at the Angel Capital Summit to a crowd that was standing room only, and after the initial piss-my-pants moment…I liked it. I especially liked the topic I was invited to speak on: building the unpopular brand. I spoke about five things that the branding process must include (and graphic design wasn’t one of them). And number four on the list is scalability, my favorite part of the subject.

I’ve recognized and been kicked in the heart by the simple fact that a business is just that: business. I asked my audience how many times they’d:

• called home to say they’d be missing dinner
• cancelled a date
• missed their son’s soccer game or their daughter’s play
• answered a call or checked email during lunch or dinner

Because those things suck, and if you’re running a business at the expense of your life, you’ve got the wrong business model.

And I can tell ya, as a woman who lives each day with a certain weight of regret on her shoulders for putting tangibles above the intangibles, you don’t want to be in my shoes. I knew what I had when I had it – and I’ll now live with a grey space for the rest of my life, wondering what might have happened if I’d only closed the laptop and turned off the phone a few more times.

I made a commitment to myself: I will work, and I will live. The two will gloriously intertwine, dance together like Fred and Ginger and croon like the finest a cappella ensemble. But there will be a time when I turn off the phone, close my laptop. I’ll build my life so I can take calls from those I care for and be by their side. I won’t sacrifice my opportunities to create memories, because no matter what hour of the work day, here are the things that matter:

• Taking a call because you know it will make you smile.
• Opening your door to see him standing there with a smile, small dog, a DVD and a bouquet of flowers.
• The way he tickled your arm…every time.
• Seeing the way he tilted his head to one side and raised his eyebrow.
• How he hugged you.
• The feel of a kiss.
• The feel of semi-burned popcorn in one hand and his hand in the other.
• Hearing him ask about your day…and mean it.

Substitute “she.” Add a “they.” Maybe what matters in your life is different, but without those things above, I realize I have fuck all.

Your business has to learn to live without you. You need to pull a Jim Collins and find the right people to put on the bus. If you can’t leave your business and find you’re consistently sacrificing your life, you don’t have a problem with your business model. You have a people problem.

And you might be one of them.

I don’t believe in the myth of the “solopreneur.” No business (and no man) is an island, so why do we keep kidding ourselves into believing we are? I don’t know about you, but I love having people in my life, personally and professionally, that I can trust. It didn’t happen overnight and so far as I know, they haven’t opened a Trust Boutique where you can just get 100% guaranteed friendships and productive colleagues. It’s a bumpy road to travel, but I wouldn’t trade the nails in my tires for anything.

Live, learn, grow. Find time to laugh. Screw serious. Lighten up. Build your business to run without you and stop planning for “missed revenue” because you’re taking a vacation. That shit should be able to go on autopilot when you – and the people who fill your heart and create memories – want to get the hell out of dodge.

Fix your business model, and promise yourself it’ll never be broken again.

As oblivious as I am to anything religiously-oriented, apparently today is Good Friday. Kinda like Easter Jr. but without the eggs, baskets and gastrointestinal distress from chowing on partially hydrogenated bunnies. So I asked myself – what’s so “good” about Good Friday? Not wanting to take anyone’s word for it and buy into the concept blind, I had to do a little research. After all, what kind of a sheep would I be if I just took someone’s word for it that Friday’s really good? After some trolling on the interwebz, here’s what I came up with. And truth be told, it really should be labeled “Fan-fucking-TASTIC Friday.” Good is so pedestrian.

• 1847: Cleavage would never be the same since on this day in history (April 10), Walter Hunt of New York City patented the safety pin. My sweater kittens are safe from wardrobe malfunctions and (you know you’ve done it…) zits for centuries to come will meet their demise at the point of this twisted little concoction.
  
• 1866:  I make no bones about my love for animals. I have two dogs and two cats, all of which are rescue animals. On this day, the ASPCA was founded in New York City by philanthropist and diplomat Henry Bergh. Now if we could just shut down the senseless puppy and breeding mills, maybe America could wake up and realize there are countless shelter animals that have been abused, abandoned, bred without consideration or simply lost in the system that need loving homes. If I adopt one more, I’ll need my own shelter permit. I already refer to my car as “The Ark” for fuck sake.
  
• 1906: If you’ve never read “The Gift of the Magi” by O. Henry and you’re reading my blog, Christ almighty get your ass to a library! On this day in 1906, the legendary author published his collection of short stories The Four Million which included the timeless tale about a couple, a gift and a moral never forgotten by those who have read it.
  
• 1960: Swing, baby, swing…Brian Setzer was born on this day in 1960. The Stray Cats got me through my angst-ridden years and taught me that you can rock-out equally to both a bass guitar and an upright bass. He’s also gone on to create some bitchin’ modern renditions on classic big band music with the Brian Setzer Orchestra. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t Jump, Jive an’ Wail.
  
• 1985: Prior to April 10 this year, no R-rated movie had ever placed in the box office top 10 og highest-grossing features. We can all thank Eddie Murphy for fucking that up for the conservatives in years to come with his performance in Beverly Hills Cop (the first one – and only GOOD one).

So yeah…screw “good” Friday. Good is a pansy-ass, non-committal word that boys and girls say to one another when we don’t want to tell you how we really feel. Have a Fan-Fucking-TASTIC Friday, my dear readers. Pry that sticky-ass wafer off the roof of your mouth, have a greedy swig from the communal cup, rend the ears off as many “chocolate” bunnies as you like and quit taking everyone else’s word for it that it’s good. If it’s merely good, then you need to try just a little bit harder.