1. Help promote your blog or website
2. Make it EASY for new, targeted traffic to FIND your content
3. Do those two things easier and more naturally than a trucker slipping a tip into a stripper’s g-string.

Are you with me? Let’s talk social bookmarking.

What is social bookmarking?

If you’ve ever added a website to your “favorites” in your browser of choice, social bookmarking is the same thing. But there’s one super-squirrel-awesome difference: when you add a site or blog post to a social bookmarking site, you’re adding it to a HUGE database of “favorites” that users of that site can see! Imagine the inherent coolness (yet overbearing clunkiness) of having one web browser that everyone shared with one big “favorites” bar. That’s social bookmarking in a nutshell.

Why should I use social bookmarking?

If you have a website or a blog that you never want anyone new to visit, by all means ignore this section. Social bookmarking offers the users of a particular social bookmarking site the opportunity to find content they might be interested in using things like tags and categories. In plain pseudo-nerd English, that means if I’m over on Digg or Stumble Upon, I can discover new content related to Business or Pets with the click of a button. And that single click is a pretty cool way to let other people know about your content.

How hard is it to use social bookmarking?

It’s not. It involves registering for a site as a new user. Username and password. Sometimes a profile. That’s it.

Okay, so how do I use it to benefit my website or business?

Here’s a cool Random Redhead Fact: 20% of my web traffic comes from StumbleUpon. It used to be closer to 30%, but my organic traffic is on a serious upward trend (no complaints). Social bookmarking is simple: if you’re reading this, you have a blog (imma guessin’). If you’re powered by WordPress, you can install a simple Social Bookmarking plugin. At the top of this post, you’ll see Digg Digg (displays my Digg/Tweet/FB share/StumbleUpon buttons) and WP FB Like. I use BOTH the Facebook Share button from Digg Digg and the separate FB Like plugin because some people just don’t want to commit to sharing a post on FB with a comment as “share” implies – so I let them just “like” it. You can also use plugins like Sexy Bookmarks (another personal fave).

When you publish a new blog entry, submit it to the social bookmarking sites you’ve signed up for. I personally use Digg, StumbleUpon and Mixx (my latest addition) regularly. The choice is yours. I find that these three are great for not only sharing new content but driving new readers BACK to my site. And when you get those social bookmarking widgets installed on your posts, you make it easy for other readers to add additional votes to your content. Let’s talk more about that now.

How do most social bookmarking sites work?

It’s a voting system, essentially. Sites like Digg, StumbleUpon, Mixx and Reddit (and many others like Propeller and Yahoo! Buzz) use endorsement marketing to lend a bookmarked post more or less weight. What that means is that, yes, the voting system can be a little biased towards long-term, active users of the sites than new ones like yourself. But it’s not unlike blogging: you’re not going to build a readership like Copyblogger, Chris Brogan or PR-Squared right out of the chute. You have to earn your chops.

You earn your chops by being active. Submit content from sites other than your own (and in addition to your own). Leave comments. Connect with other users on those bookmarking sites. Build your network. I spend 30 minutes each day combined for all sites I participate in, adding new content and voting up other users’ submissions I like. Some days are a miss and others, I can’t stop bookmarking. Just remember to be active – that’s the key (and with a variety of content so the sites don’t view you as a spam account).

You said I could get new traffic and readers from these social bookmarking sites. How does that work?

When you submit content, you tag it with either tags, categories or both. Be sure to use the site’s pre-determined tags for most of your content (but there may be occasions where you need to create a new one, like “BP oil spill” or something). Now, take the time to get to know your social bookmarking sites of choice. Tool around in them and learn how to find content in your favorite categories. Most sites make it very easy to find main categories of content and will then show you the latest headlines submitted in those categories by other users. You can then click on that content and it’ll take you right to the post or site. BAM! One-click easy (told ya). This not only lets YOU discover new content, it brings new people to YOUR content in the same way.

Pro tip: if you’re smack-dab in the middle of writer’s block and need a blog idea for the day, try browsing content on a social bookmarking site. Works for me every time.

****

So there’s the basics on social bookmarking – and you are now officially a pseudo-nerd on the subject. If you’re curious about the best social bookmarking sites, eBizMBA publishes a monthly list (here is September’s). If anyone else out there uses social bookmarking and you have an add for anything I’ve shared here, PLEASE share it! That’s what the comments section is for. And if you have a question, let me know that as well. If I don’t know the answer, it’s likely someone on here does and we’ll get you squared away. And since I’m not the end-all, be-all on social bookmarking, here are a few more reads you might enjoy on the subject:

Top 15 social bookmarking plugins for Wordpress to share your blog post

How to Digg (video – though from 2006, a solid 101 primer on the site)

A Comprehensive Guide to StumbleUpon: How to Build Massive Traffic to Your Website

And if you’re on StumbleUpon, Digg or Mixx – connect with me! And if you have profiles, leave them in your comments. We can all do with more connections! Here are my profiles:

Erika on Mixx

Erika on Digg

Erika on StumbleUpon

Yes. If you’ll put the phone away.

Then there was the ex-boyfriend who lived and died latched-on the the same Apple-branded teat. The vibrations never seemed to end. The texting with The Dudes was frequent. Conversations with the ex-wife were seemingly incessant. So I finally said something:

It’s me or the phone. Your choice.

Folks, it’s a piece of technology and I don’t care if you’re a Crackberry/iPhone/Droid/Palm devotee. It makes no difference. It disgusts me that you can’t put the phone down long enough to have a conversation with a real, live person standing in front of you (especially if you’re hoping the conversation culminates in a “happy ending with release”).

So yeah – you’re getting Bitch Slapped. Every time you look at that phone that plugs you into The Matrix, you’re unplugging from ME. You’re telling the person (or people) sitting in front of you that you place more value in virtual relationships than real ones. And let me tell you – while there might be some oddballs out there reading my blog who live in their parents’ basement and have an uber-pimped-out whatever on World of Warcraft, every damn one of you is seriously lacking an excuse.

If you’ve arranged your life so that you simply cannot function without checking your email every five minutes, my friend – you’re a walking example of a serious fail. You should turn in your opposable thumbs and go back to dragging your knuckles because your ability to operate as a being with logical capacity is utterly absent.

Social engagement these days revolves around our handheld devices. We check in, we text, we tweet, we share. But can’t you do that and put the goddamned phone AWAY?

Let me get this straight:

You go somewhere to meet friends.

You arrive. You “check in.”

Aaaaaaand there are your friends.

***where’s the part about your phone being a requirement for a meaningful experience?

Ladies and gents, it’s this simple: if you’re on a date, you turn the fucking phone off. If there is a life or death matter, your date will be understanding – but every date should NOT have a life-or-death matter lurking at the perimeter (and if it does, it’s likely a smart decision to lose the date and go find a new one).

If you’re in a meeting, you turn the fucking phone off. Your attention deserves to be present in that room with people who have arranged their time to hear what you have to say.

And if you’re in the car, quit fucking text messaging! It blows my mind that there are no-texting laws yet very few hands-free laws. You need to type “LOL” does not preempt my desire and right to drive the streets among other drivers with two eyes on the goddamned road.

Now, as the sting on your cheek subsides, I want you to think back to the day that you saw your first fax machine. The day you used your first computer. The day that Michael Douglas looked like a serious P-I-M-P in Wall Street when he spoke on that big-as-a-brick “mobile phone.”

We didn’t always have these fantastical devices. And somehow, life went on without them. Believe me – you are capable of giving other human beings the pleasure of your company for a finite period of time without having to “check in” with technology.

That’s it. Consider yourself slapped. And if you’ve got a technology-related horror story, I’d love to hear it.

Was this image REALLY worth 5 credits on iStock? WTF. I bought it anyway.

Janice Tomich also just invited me to dinner – and I’m totally stoked to be around a virtual table including the likes of Diana Adams (Adams Consulting Group) from Bit Rebels, Seth Godin, Roger Ebert, Daniel Pink and Tanveer Naseer. I told her that I’m probably more suited to work for the catering company doing her party, but hey! Janice, that’s a huge compliment and…wow. OK. I’ll buy you a pony – but don’t worry. It’ll stay in the yard during dinner!

Now, tomorrow is Thursday. That means there is probably a Bitch Slap coming along. And Friday? I have a tasty marketing treat for you – a “must haves” post. So, I’ll smack, you’ll ask for another (YES, MISTRESS!) and on Friday, you’ll get your just desserts.

In the meantime, RedheadWriting client Une Belle Vie was featured by Reuters in a brilliant article today. Special thanks goes out to Jill Thompson at Metzger Associates in Boulder, CO for securing the interview and a personal thanks goes out from me to the Jamali family. They’re a dream client – open to ideas, engaged and steadfast in their business ethics. If you’re lucky enough to have a Une Belle Vie among your clients, you’re livin’ good.

For those not familiar with the Une Belle Vie story, have a look at the article. Stop by their Facebook fan page and say hello and share your thoughts. They’re going to be launching a pretty cool contest in the next month or so, and if you’re quirky like me, you don’t want to miss it! You can also follow Melody Jamali on Twitter – her stream is a bastion for witty banter, odd news and great links (she also loves shoes…SWOON).

The single question I’m asked in interviews more than any other is: “Do you ever lose business on account of being such an outspoken brand?”

The answer is a resounding hells yeah. And it hit me again, square in the ass, yesterday afternoon.

It’s rare that Redhead Writing and Redheaded Fury post collide – one’s distinctly about biz and the other unabashedly ME. Today, they merge. They merged earlier this year when I realized something:

I am my brand.

I don’t mind missing out on opportunities because people or companies don’t find me a fit for what they embody. After all – that’s their brand. They’ve worked just as hard on building their presence as I have, so there’s an inherent respect every time I respond to one of these situations. But here’s what sucks: when you know that, given the opportunity, you could completely CRUSH IT. You’d bring in the dancing unicorns and ponies that never crap and sweat sunshine. You’d make the client look so damn good it’s sickening and they’d be looking for another way to work with you when it’s all said and done.

But, yeah – you’re pretty sure you’re not going to get the gig, crapless ponies that sweat sunshine aside.

When you build your brand, understand what it is that you’re building. As Redhead Writing’s evolved, I’ve realized that I’ve done something completely unintentional (yet kickass): I’ve found a way to be me. And me (just like you) isn’t going to jive with everyone. We’re holding out for the opportunities that allow us to be the best possible MEs we can be. And Redhead Writing…well, that’s me.

This kid – the one picked last for dodgeball and tagged out (usually in the head) first.

The kid who thought it was a great idea to get married at age 22 to a redneck from Tennessee.

The conniving teen who talked her sister into trading rooms so she could sneak out at night by climbing down the balcony.

The same kid who sat in Political Studies classes geeking out to hypothetical solutions to the world’s problems.

And the kid who’s still a kid inside (and outside half the time), but gets her jollies around the conference table, hashing out solutions for companies looking to build more meaningful brand presences.

Then there’s the added bonus of inviting you along on my lessons hard-learned path with the occasional smackity-smack. And you keep coming back for more.

The best part of yesterday’s “we love you/we have some hesitations” call? When you realize the person on the other end of phone isn’t bullshitting you. “I want to find a way to work together and I’m willing to develop that with you.”

So yeah – that’s when the brand I’ve built feels fan-fucking-tastic. You’re not going to be a fit for everything every time, but when you are a fit, it’s better than being Cinderella.

Are YOU building a brand you feel fan-fucking-tastic about?

If you find your blog posts aren’t getting comments – are you asking any questions? Are you doing your part to make people think beyond the page?

If you’re after more followers or fans, are you offering them a reason to join your herd (or do you simply expect it because you’re that cool)?

Are your query letters going unanswered or do you get form rejection letters? As yourself if what you’re submitting is crap. And along with that, it’s probably best if you ask someone who has no emotional attachment to giving you a bullshit-free perspective.

Go out and ask ten people to describe you. Send it out in an email with bcc’s (please, for all that’s holy – no open cc’s). Ask people to describe your brand. And if what you hear is so very different than what you think you’ve built, hey, hey Sally…time to get some new shoes.

Being who you are and building a career aren’t mutually exclusive. I’m loud. I’m going to keep being loud. If you don’t like the fact that I go to eleven, find someone who goes to ten. And when you’re ready to find out what eleven feels like, you know where to find me.

PS: Little Known Fact about The Redhead – I’m a complete audiophile. If you have not seen It Might Get Loud, it’s tops and a must have for your Netflix queue. You’re welcome. Three guys who take it to eleven.

Games were $30 (THIRTY DOLLARS) and my mother stood in line at Sears for more than one of them. Last Thursday night’s event convinced me of one thing…okay, TWO things:

1) I still love video games.

2) The Wii is dead.

I’ve condensed it into 6 minutes and hope you enjoy.

***Per FCC regulations, I have to disclose that Xbox has not compensated me for the review and information contained in this post. However, I did receive a Flip MinoHD as a gift for attending the event. Thanks to Edelman PR and Xbox for the kind gift! You’ll be powering my video blogging efforts from here on out.

Seriously? You can’t take a single moment to shut the hell up and leave me alone?

Yeah, Brain. I’m talking to you. You’re getting Bitch Slapped.

I’m incessantly guilty of Busy Brain. It rarely shuts off and if I give it an inch, it’ll take a yard. A few weeks ago, I started doing hot yoga. Part of the so-called allure of said practice is the ability to tune-in and (ahem) quiet Brain down and connect to whatever convoluted Humble Tree Swan Dive pose you’re asked to assume. Well, it’s pretty difficult to tune into a pose when all you can think about is not tipping over and you’re looking around the room in sheer awe of the exact posture the other eleven people have achieved with their left foot.

I fill my days and I tell Brain it’s HIS responsibility (yeah, my Freudian triumvirate is distinctly “dude”) to deal. He assumes his responsibility with prowess, but not a whole helluva lot of efficiency. Ya see – he never stops. He’s always dealing.

And here’s the thing: Brain needs to take a vacation. The little fucker has eight weeks of paid vacay on the books and hasn’t seemed to take a single day. Is your Brain the same way?

I’ve had to come up with ideas to outsmart Brain – beat him at his own game. Because honestly, I can’t understand why the guy won’t go to a movie or grab a drink with the guys on occasion. He’s a clingy little bastard and I really would like it if he’d leave me alone every now and then.

I can think things to death – it’s times like those where the writing comes in handy. Dumping Brain onto the page seems to help (yet inevitably gets me thinking about other things).

How do you deal with Brain?

Every Bitch Slap in this series begins with ME and my experiences. This week, I’m wondering if you’ll join me in Operation Get Brain the Fuck Out of Town.

I’m getting better at leaving my shit at the door when I walk into yoga, but I need to get better at socking my shit away during other times in the day. I’ve never really understood why I can spend so much time toiling over something or other but less time cleaning my damned office. Is toiling really so much more enjoyable than producing tangible results? My office is screaming for a maid and I’m somewhere screwing around with Brain worrying about something or other.

It’s time to send Brain to Tahiti. Tell him (or her – whichever yours might be) to pack it up and move it out. You need your sleep, your YOU time. And wouldn’t it be delightful to spend that YOU time doing something other than standing by as Brain does his workaholic thing?

Consider yourself slapped, Brain. I’m onto your bullshit and buying you a season pass to Six Flags. You need to get out of the house and leave me alone every now and then. And between you and me, I hope you throw up a little bit on the roller coaster.

This photo is gratuitous and has nothing to do with this post. You're welcome.

Congrats to Kristen with a whopping 16 comment votes! You’ll see her story printed below for your literary enjoyment.

Now – a teensy Bitch Slap for the rest of you: the voting had rules. Some of the entries had quite a few people who clicked on “LIKE” by your post. That was not the ticket. Your voters had to leave a comment with WHY they liked your story. There was a method to my madness and I’m not just being bitchy.

When I started writing and submitting content, I didn’t realize that submissions had to be in a certain format. I kept getting no answers or rejections. Sad writing panda, was I.

When I started reading submission guidelines and adhering to them…well, I’ll be damned – I started getting targeted rejection letters (“Loved this piece -it’s not for us, but submit again”)…and some acceptances, too!

If you’re going to make an attempt to break into any industry, you have to follow the rules. And for those who received comments on their pieces, isn’t it COOL to find out what people liked/didn’t like/felt? That’s better than money in the bank for a writer – when you know you’ve hit a chord. Agents, managers and editors will appreciate that you presented your materials in the format they requested – it’s a show of respect, that you did your homework and you appreciate in advance the time they will take to consider what you have to offer. It’s the same with resumes, interview requests and new connections in the business world. Submit humbly. Be grateful when others grant you their time. I was VERY grateful when each of you granted me the privilege of reading your words, all prompted by a dilapidated bus stop photo.

So if ya thought you SHOUDLA won, you didn’t. You can review the rules here. And then leave a comment below for Kristen who dotted her I’s and crossed her T’s – and hit one out of the park with you, my readers.

Kristen – you’ve won a $150 VISA gift card. Use my contact form to ping me. Please spend it on something ridiculous like a pair of Charles David strappy sandals or a brand new pot-bellied pig.

And now, HER story:

Cry.

Please cry. No one will see you if you don’t cry.

Noah stood across the street from the desolate bus stop. Window busted out. Weird graffiti spray painted on the plexiglass.

No one there. Well, that wasn’t true.

CRY! Dammit, cry!

He knew he’d done the right thing. Sarah would know this was the right decision when she woke up. She loved him and said she trusted him. They weren’t ready to be parents. She knew that. Hell, they’d already talked about it. They’d made plans to give the baby up for adoption. Found a couple that said they’d wanted their baby but didn’t want to go through the hassle of using an agency.

They seemed serious.

But when Sarah went into labor at frickin’ 3:00 in the morning, they couldn’t be bothered to come and get the baby. Said they’d had a change of heart. Probably didn’t have the money.

Noah knew he’d acted in the moment. Made a rash decision. But it was the right one. Right?

The birth had been quick. But hard. Sarah screamed bloody murder.

Bloody. Noah had to clean all that crap up while he tried not to look at the squished up face of his baby girl. No. Not HIS baby girl.

A baby girl. She’d be someone else’s baby girl.

“Just cry,” he whispered.

Sarah had passed out after the ordeal. She didn’t see him wrap up the product of their behind-the-football-stands encounter of last fall. Didn’t see him place the bundle under the busted out panel of the bus shelter wall. Didn’t see him kiss the little forehead.

But she would know this was the right thing to do.

He’d keep vigil until someone came. It was almost time for the early commuters to get to the bus stop.

Well, I was fortunate enough to have them ask me to submit a piece. (blushing) I sent one over on Monday and TA-DAH! I’m live over on TalkThirtytoMe today! Check out my piece Girl: Rediscovered. And it doesn’t matter if you’re not 30-something. Emotional and career toils know no age. I’m just lucky they asked and liked what I had to say.

In other Redhead News, my Droid X arrived yesterday. It’s the sexiest damn thing I’ve ever seen and, well, I might never date again. Stay tuned for updates as this former AT&T Wireless customer gets her kicks with her new digital lovah. I might even let the shitty little iPhone watch.

Finally – HAVE YOU VOTED? My latest fiction contest is running and voting ends at 11pm TONIGHT (Wed, Aug 25, 2010). Do yourself a solid and stop by – there are some compelling reads and all are 300 words or less! Read the voting rules HERE (along with MY story inspired by the image). That post will take you to the submissions post where you’ll vote. And remember: every time you try to game the voting system, god kills a puppy.

And…if anyone would like a relatively pristine iPhone 3G, it’s yours and ready to jailbreak for $125. Use my contact form to ping me.

• API jam-ups (moreso than usual)
• Who cares about following someone on Twitter if they’re not on Twitter (WTF)?
• Larger scope applications for brick-and-mortar…and virtual…businesses.

As there are a herd of people in this world smarter than me, I decided to ask them if I was overreacting to a social media platform doing yet ANOTHER thing that would overburden their API and do nothing to really enhance the customer experience. Or…would it?

Cue Chris Brogan of New Marketing Labs (his blog should be in your reader – now, please) and Shelly Kramer of V3 Integrated Media (aaaaand her blog in your reader now, too). I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts after you read theirs. Between you and me, I’m looking forward to my next brick and mortar client where this tool (of which I was initially skeptical) could prove a major player in foot traffic generation.

With Twitter’s rapid growth over the past three years, what do you think their motivation was in setting up a way for NON-TWITTER USERS to (ahem) get updates from Twitter?

Chris: I think it’s a way to extend the platform to people who don’t feel like participating. In the use case I read, it makes perfect sense: you’re out at a restaurant, see the “follow us on twitter” sign for the restaurant, and you follow it just to get updates from the restaurant. It’s very similar to the AOL method of the old days: “use AOL keyword SnarkBall to follow our updates.”

Shelly: I think Twitter’s motivation is the same as any businesses’ motivation – to grow and add value. With Fast Follow, Twitter encourages “non-users” to jump in and try out this crazy thing called Twitter, without really making much of a commitment. It’s a bit like the websites that allow you to place an online order without actually registering and creating an account. Some people prefer that kind of noncommittal relationship – since they don’t know if they’re ever coming back. This makes Twitter easier for them and potentially adds to the user base and the ultimate value of the Twitter platform for its founders. And, it also allows businesses a way to offer promos and special deals – which I think could ultimately end up being a big deal.

What do you feel will be the industries/sectors that will try to use Fast Follow from the onset?

Chris: I think retail and commercial people will use it first. Consumables. Because with Fast Follow, people are bypassing the two-way nature of Twitter and attempting to use it like a marketing broadcast tool. Though I personally rankle at that particular usage, I totally get it.

Shelly: I see this as a great fit for bars, restaurants, tanning salons, quick service places like Jiffy Lube and Great Clips and the like, who want to offer deals to consumers and test their willingness to participate.

Twitter accounts get hacked all the time. Do you think there would be additional motivations to hack accounts using and promoting the Fast Follow service?

Chris: That’s an interesting question. I think there will always be a motivation to hack a Twitter account, depending on the value of the account. Because people use weak passwords, trust any random application they plug their data into, and use other loose methods of managing their Twitter identity, sadly, hacking Twitter accounts is an easy target.

Shelly: I don’t think hacking will be any more of an issue with this feature than with anything else. As long as people continue to mindlessly select easy to hack passwords, accounts will be hacked.

What are some of the potential pitfalls you see for businesses/destinations adopting the Fast Follow platform?

Chris: I think the biggest negative to having people simple Fast Follow is that you lose the two way street. That’s like having a retail store with no clerks. Imagine people wandering your store trying to get some custom help and having no one to ask. That’s what this dynamic sets up.

Shelly: There won’t be any opportunity for businesses to get a taste of the truest value of Twitter, which is the engagement aspect. When you take all the “personality” out of the equation, Twitter really becomes a pretty boring medium. At least it would be boring to me. Using Twitter in the more traditional way as a two-way communication channel with customers and prospective customers adds so much value for businesses. And the users also will miss out on the greatest things that Twitter has to offer, but it’s also been my experience that there are many folks out there who aren’t much interested in that. So they may use the platform when they have the opportunity to do so in this way – and that’ll be a win for both Twitter and this new kind of user.

The first thing that came to mind for me when I read about the platform was the urban adventure potential. Scavenger hunts. Teams text when they arrive at the next location for a clue…What are some of the nontraditional applications you’d see benefiting from the Fast Follow feature? (Yeah, I know – you get paid to answer shit like this, but humor me at 36,000 ft, would ya?)

Chris: That’s certainly a great way to think of using it. I think that Fast Follow as a broadcast tool will have other uses that mimic mass text. For instance, if you want to do projects with teens, it’s a safer way to manage data because Twitter acts as the 3rd party intermediary, meaning that companies don’t have direct access to a teen’s telephone number. Beyond that, I think that Fast Follow could be married to location-based apps to do some interesting things. If I wanted certain storefinder abilities for every city I visited, once I geo-located in a city, imagine being able to pick out a list of concierge services I want to know about and have a Fast Follow account blast me all the contact and address info.

Shelly: I didn’t think about that, but I think that’s a great idea. Groups of people might be interesting too, scout troops…

What if Fast Follow isn’t fast enough? We all know how pissed we get when Twitter’s API goes down like a $3 hooker. Talk to me.

Chris: It’s the same platform, so it’ll perform exactly the way Twitter does. In fact, it’ll degrade Twitter’s service in the short term if it’s widely adopted. However, because all those new users won’t be retweeting, it’ll be a less painful bump.

Shelly: It’s a pretty good bet that a $3 hooker will always be nothing more than a $3 hooker. The Twitter API will continue to be an issue – and that’ll chase these new users – business and consumer – away quickly. Surely Twitter is aware of and focused on remedying this.

What does Twitter gain by launching Fast Follow? What do they gain by “bringing Twitter to the tens of millions of passive users who occasionally consume tweets from their favorite people or brands but don’t care to tweet themselves”?

Chris: What does any service gain by adding a mass of new users? Advertising clout.

Shelly: I touched on this in my earlier answer, but I really think it’s about Twitter expanding its capabilities to tap into a potential user group that’s not interested in the more traditional uses of Twitter. I also think that part of the beauty of Twitter’s leadership is that they are always exploring and trying new things, all with an ultimate goal of being profitable. I’m all for that, and tremendously interested in seeing what other uses there are for this platform that I think is so fascinating – and so incredibly useful from a marketing and consumer engagement standpoint. As you know from the time we spend together, I’m a huge fan of the launch it, tweak it strategy, and this seems to me to be an example of that. We won’t really be sure how it will work, be adopted, used, etc., until it’s out there and people are writing, talking, experimenting with and using it. I’m excited to see what happens next.

If you had a nightmare about a certain business using Fast Follow…describe it to me.

Chris: I don’t think Fast Follow will impact the “in-system” Twitter users much. It’s just a way for non-system users to get Tweets. My nightmares are about sharks under the floorboards in old houses.

Shelly: I don’t have any nightmares. Chatroulette is my definition of a nightmare – or at least a potential one. This just seems exciting.

***

A special thanks to both Chris and Shelly for taking time to answer my questions this week! Now…your thoughts?

You’re not freelancers – you’re business owners. So stop pulling the woe-is-fucking-me game and start acting like it. I don’t care if you’re sitting in your house working in your bunny slippers, in the middle of a co-working space or a coffee shop devotee. It’s time to cowboy the fuck up and start acting the way you want people to treat you.

Like a business.

I’m going to give you some words to live by that someone shared with me (and not so long ago), along with a few of my own thrown in for flavor. We never give ourselves great advice, so maybe you’ll take my mashup of experiences and rub the lotion on your “freelancer” skin and be all the better for it.

You are a business owner, not a “freelancer.” I don’t care what you have to do to lend a sense of legitimacy to whatever it is you do, but get out there and go do it. Get an LLC, rent office space, have business cards made with your business moniker on them. Hell, GET a business moniker. But when you stop calling yourself a freelancer and start owning a business, you might be surprised in a whole lotta shifts that trickle down. I know I was. You can get your LLC setup online in most states through the Secretary of State office. Easy-peasy.

Get a business bank account. The fees you receive from clients aren’t your own little personal piggy bank. It’s income. It is taxable and subject to Social Security and Medicare taxes as well. If you think you can handle all of your business accounting on your own, I sure shit hope you’re a “freelance” CPA. Otherwise, get a CPA, business formation papers and get thee to a blessed financial institution to open a business account. You need to put aside money for taxes, pay them QUARTERLY (yes, quarterly) and pay a few hundred bucks a year to a qualified tax professional to keep your shit straight. Oh, and get an invoicing program. I personally use GetHarvest, but know several others who adore Freshbooks. Keep your shit straight. Oh – and both integrate with PayPal.

Make it easy for people to pay you. If you only take checks, you’re stuck waiting for the mail. If you don’t take credit cards (a merchant services account or PayPal), you’re making a huge mistake. If you’re not charging a 50% deposit to commence, you’re a moron. The easier you make it for people to pay you, the more likely it is…they’ll actually pay you! If you’re pissed about PayPal or merchant account handling fees, add a surcharge on your quotes – visible or invisible. Doesn’t matter. And by the way, if you had a CPA, he/she would probably tell you those service fees are tax-deductible. Just sayin’.

If you can’t make a living, something is wrong. Until a dear friend and colleague told me my pricing was as out of whack with market trends as GM stock prices, I was oblivious. I was taking more and more work and making barely any more money. Pull your head out of your freelancer ass and do some research like a business owner. Dig into rates that others who provide similar services charge. If you’re in the creative space, know what agencies are charging. If you’re a writer, you need to subscribe to Writer’s Market and download their annually-updated ‘What to Charge” guide. If you don’t price your services so you can afford to eventually outsource the slew of work that will be coming your way, you’re doing it wrong.

You need to invest in your business. I was recently at a conference where someone complained about the $30 ticket price for 8 hours of focused information sharing. I stood up and said, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. This is a steal! You just got 8 hours of info – actionable info – for $3.75/hour.” If you’re not willing to invest in your business, what ARE you willing to invest in? $30 is an investment if you’re buying a pool floatie toy or a hamburger. It is a scam if you’re talking about buying a house or a car. Everything in between is negotiable. We go to Target and walk out with $100 worth of crap we didn’t need (but it was ON SALE), and you complain about a $30 (or $300, for that matter) investment in your business? Shut…the front door.

You need to network. And it needs to be outside of your own backyard. There are conferences nationwide, no matter what industry you’re in, and you need to do your research and figure out which ones to attend. There’s going to be some trial and error, and some of the experiences are going to suck. But you’re going to meet people. And those people are even more valuable than the information you receive. So when you’re thinking about investing in your business, conferences need to be on your radar.

You can’t do it on your own. You need allies. Colleagues. People you can trust. McDonald’s buys their “beef” from a vendor and their soda from Coca Cola. Who are you going to leverage to get business done? Ah – but there’s that B-word again. It’s because you run a business. When you take the time to invest in your business and network, you’d be surprised how easily these trusted resources come along.

It’s okay to be frugal, but cheap can suck it. Not everyone can afford a Bentley (and not everyone that drives one can afford one). But if you run your car on the cheap and ignore things like…oh, say oil changes, you’re going to kill the life of the car. It’s the same with your business. It’s time well-spent to find a $9.99 oil change but it’s shitty money saved to skip it all together. Keep your business running lean – but don’t ignore what it takes for it to keep running.

And for now, that is all fellow business owner. Consider yourself slapped.