Why I won’t pay $1500 for cat shit, a lesson on value regardless of market conditions, and a reminder that the phone can stop ringing at any time.

Oh haiiiiiiiiii pretty lady. I don’t like you (gasp). Does this handprint on my face make my ass look big?

No, I’m not a jerk…but I love telling you that you’re wrong and here’s why. And something for my dad, just outside of Austin, TX.

This post is sponsored by bacon, Mad Libs, and minding your own business — because do you really have time to mind anyone else’s? It’s slappin’ time.

Oh haiii – is that a soccer ball in your face or are you just SURPRISED THAT YOU FAILED?! A tale of the Skits, the Halvsies, and The Lovers — which are you?

The way you’re running your day is bullshit, and I have food poisoning. So it’s coming at you, both barrels.

The curse and blessing of digital communication. And geek guys just might get a boner from the opening few paragraphs. You’re getting slapped (not for the boner, though).

What did you just say? Is that English? You’re getting slapped.

I grew a pair on Sunday. And should have long ago. On taking your own advice – and some questions for my audience.

I got a little bit ranty on the issues surrounding our current economy. Oh, I got ranty on the photo caption, too.