Hearing crickets in your social media plan?

Trying out, using and accepting social media is not that easy- particularly when you are a bit old-school.  As more of a newcomer, I thought it would be helpful to give my take on the 9 stages you may encounter on your way to Social Media acceptance.

Stage 1: Denial

This is the stage where you have no idea why you need social media.  You ask yourself WTF a “tweet” is or why you would want to be friends with your classmates from first grade?  You tell yourself that you don’t have time to wipe your ass most days, so how would you possibly have time to take on another task?

Stage 2: Crickets

Through something resembling curiosity or good old peer pressure, you decide to venture into the social media landscape to see what the fuss is all about.  You set up your profile, read the FAQs files and then…nothing.  Not a damn thing happens.  You tweet and no one tweets back.  You can hear virtual crickets chirping.  Now you really wonder WTF all the fuss is about.

Stage 3: Dribbles

One day, you tweet and you find that have been retweeted!  You pick up a few “friends”.  Someone remembers working with you in the mailroom of some big corporation and accepts your Linked In invite.  You are elated and think maybe that there is something to this…

Stage 4: Momentum

Your consistency of action starts to pay off.  Your strong message starts to garner an audience.  You post a blog and get some comments from a real person, not just a spammer who thinks you need a penis enlargement (whether or not you have a penis).  This is where things really get fun- you are getting recognition, a boost to your ego and you finally begin to see the fruits of your labor.  You are making new best friends with people from all over the world faster than Charlie Sheen drives cars off of cliffs.

Stage 5: Obsession

Too much of a good thing turns bad.  You bring your iPhone or Blackberry to the bathroom when you go to take a piss to make sure you don’t miss something.  You have 25 different tools for Twitter.  You check your friends/followers/connection totals 115 times a day.  Overall, you are spending more time with people you met online in the last three weeks than your family and lifelong friends.

Stage 6: Overwhelmed

You become paralyzed from the sheer volume of information coming at you.  You are annoyed at the amount of time you have spent.  You start referring to your fans as sycophants, leeches or something worse.  This wasn’t what you signed up for.

Stage 7: Fuck It

You can’t handle it and you vow never to use social media again.  Your new best friends wonder what happened to you…for about 12 hours; then they go find other new best friends.

(Note: Stage seven rarely lasts more than a few days).

Stage 8: Regrouping

You know that you can’t quit this bitch, so you re-assess your strategy and cut back.  You think about why you are using social media, what your purpose and goals are, and what are truly the mission critical tools to accomplish them.  You go back to your old stomping grounds with a new sense of purpose.

Stage 9: Enlightenment and Acceptance

You finally realize that social media is just a tool and like anything else, needs to be used in moderation, with a purpose and in the most effective way possible.

About Carol Roth

Carol Roth is a business strategist and deal maker who has worked with hundreds of companies, ranging from a single entrepreneur with an idea to Fortune 500 businesses, on all aspects of business and financial strategy. Collectively, she has helped her clients raise over $1 billion dollars in capital, complete hundreds of millions of dollars in mergers and acquisitions, secure high profile licensing and partnership deals and more.

Carol is a frequent media contributor and she also blogs about issues affecting entrepreneurs and their businesses at CarolRoth.com. She is the author of The Entrepreneur Equation, a book about evaluating the realities, risks and rewards of business ownership, coming out Q1 2011. You can find her on Twitter @caroljsroth.

Good behavior is good behavior, and the opposite is also true.

While watching the 1984 classic The Karate Kid was on cable recently (yet again!) it occurred to me that a great deal of Mr. Miyagi’s advice for young Daniel-san is also applicable to social media. Here are some of my favorites.

“Walk on road. Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later get squish just like grape.”

Many people ask me how they can find the time to take advantage of all the different social media networks out there: Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, LinkedIn, maintaining a blog and on and on.

The answer is simple–don’t even try. Join the networks that you feel give you the most benefit and participate regularly. Just making a profile is a bit like walking in the middle of the road. It’s far better to focus on one or two communities and reap those benefits than to have a dozen usernames and passwords you seldom use. Too many sign-ups and too little conversation and you’ll probably find yourself saying that you don’t get this social media thing and can’t see any benefit. And you’d be right.

“Just remember, license never replace eye, ear, and brain” and “There are no bad student, only bad teacher. Teacher say, student do.”

There is no seminar that will give you a short cut to making social media work for every situation. Yet, somehow, I’ve never seen an industry spawn so many overnight “gurus.” When my car breaks, I take it to an experienced mechanic, not a “transportation guru.” A licensed and trained dentist, not an “oral care guru,” cleans my teeth a couple of times each year and tells me if I need fillings.

By almost any standard, the Internet itself is a relatively new medium, and social media is in its infancy. Facebook is only five years old. There are not centuries–even decades–of accumulated best practices and learning. There are no ancient texts to be deciphered or undiscovered secrets awaiting discovery. And there are no “gurus” that can give you a fix-all short cut to success. Don’t let these people baffle you with BS. Use your eyes, your ears and your brain. Read what smart people with successful track records in setting and reaching specific goals using social media tactics say, and think about how you can make that work for your situation. Like anything worth doing, it takes time to develop your voice. Watch and learn, but don’t mimic or look for a one-size-fits-all blueprint. No matter what you hear (or get spammed in your Twitter stream) short cuts simply don’t exist.

There’s a great scene in the movie when Daniel asks Miyagi, “All right, so what are the rules here?”

“Don’t know,” he replies. “First time you, first time me.” In a nutshell, that’s social media. In many cases it is first time you, first time me. Mark Zuckerberg founded Facebook, and he’s only been at it five years longer than the guy that joined yesterday. Don’t expect a “guru” to replace your eyes, your ears and, most importantly, your brain.

“First learn stand, then learn fly. Nature rule, Daniel-san, not mine.”

Put another way: don’t follow 5,000 people before sending your first tweet. There are three legs to the social media stool: the size of your audience, your ongoing relevance to your audience and your ability to engage your audience. It’s not a pure numbers game, and those that make it one simply don’t get it.

Start out by understanding how the people you want to engage with are using the medium. If none of your friends are playing Farmville on Facebook, they probably don’t want you to ask them to help you water your crops a few dozen times a day. It’s just like walking into a room at a social mixer. You don’t run up to the first people you see and say something like “Hey, how about them Broncos?” before you even know what they’re talking about. You listen first and join the conversation appropriately. Same thing in social media networks.

“Better learn balance. Balance is key. Balance good, karate good. Everything good. Balance bad, better pack up, go home.”

Balance in social media means offering far more than you ask for–and selling is asking. If your Twitter stream is a series of offers to download your e-book or visit your sales-heavy blog, you’re not going to get very far in the long run. You might get a bunch of followers, but the other two measures–the ability to engage and long-term relevance–will fall flat.

Achieve balance–strong reach, relevant conversations and strong interaction with your audience–and success will follow.

And finally:

“For man with no forgiveness in heart, life worse punishment than death.”

OK. Some of you will catch that’s from Karate Kid Part II, but it’s the perfect finish. Social media is new. Go easy if your friend on Facebook he’s making you nuts with Farmville. Just talk to them and tell them what works for you. Let them know you’re not interested, but that you’d love to hear more about their family. If someone offends you on Twitter, act like you would in the office–talk it out. If the problem continues, unfollow, but don’t expect everyone to know the rules–and let’s face it, there aren’t many–on Day One.

Be patient, bring people along, and help them join your circle.

After all, isn’t that what Mr. Miyagi would do?

******

Doyle Albee is a principal at Metzger Associates in Boulder, Colorado. He is snarky, enjoys great red wine and can be found various places on the web (both with and without the wine). Follow him on Twitter and check him out over on his social homes page – DoyleAlbee.com.

I wish I could say it’s with great difficulty I write this letter, but it’s not. As a matter of fact, what follows is purely stream-of-consciousness frustration that’s putting on a blog suit and gloves. Complete with two middle fingers.

I love my Redhead Writing Facebook Fan Page. My fans do, too. My fans and readers can always get ahold of me: Twitter, contact form on my website, Facebook message, carrier pigeon…But what I simply can’t fathom is how you have 400 million users to-date and lack a CONTACT US tab on your site. How is it that you’ve grown into the social networking behemoth you have without one iota of consideration for those who actively use your site and need help doing so?

Your customer service is apathetic if not entirely absent, yet you profess to know what your users want every goddamn time you change your UI. But I understand – you’re BIG. B-I-G. Being BIG apparently grants you a level of untouchability accompanied by a lack of accountability to your users. If we don’t like it, we can go to MySpace, right? Or Google Buzz. Let’s sit down and dish in this pretend letter of mine that I doubt anyone from your business team will ever read. After all, you’re too busy to respond to user-generated questions on:

How to transfer ownership of a Facebook Fan Page (because businesses NEVER change ownership in Facebookland)

How to remove a permanent “admin” on a Facebook Fan Page (another 8 pages of unanswered user questions)

Changing the name of your Facebook Fan Page (whoa – 163 unanswered posts)

I’m going to give you a lesson in Customer Service, Redhead-Style. Sit down, stop changing your UI for a minute and listen to what we have to say (since you don’t even do that on your own site in the forums).

Your User Interface Sucks, the Concept of Service and Budgets

Frankly, as someone who deals with UIs as a large component of her day-to-day, you suck. Suck, suck, suck. If you sucked any more, you’d be on the street corner in the shady part of town, doling out hummers for $10. In the past year, I’ve logged in no fewer than three times and found all my schizzle in a hizzle. There is not other successful business that keeps dicking with its UI to the extent that you do and no one’s amused. We have no choice but to accept what you lay down (especially since you don’t listen to any of your users or have a Customer Service department to take complaints or help resolve important issues. Here’s a quote I find amusing:

“Thanks again for making Facebook a part of your life. Happy sixth birthday to Facebook and our whole community. We look forward to building more things and continuing to serve you for many more years to come.” – Mark Zuckerberg, co-founder of Facebook to the UK Telegraph

Really, Mark? How is it possible for you to “continue to serve” when you haven’t even begun? Your users speak on your very own Facebook Forums and you don’t reply. There’s no Contact Us page (like any other website on the planet…even plumbers have a Contact Us page with a phone number…so do Adult Novelty Stores – OMG they have a PHONE NUMBER, TOO…so does Twitter). And here’s the mind-boggling spaghetti that is your “Help Center.” It’s like one of those outsourced-to India automated phone systems where I’m always told “0″ is an invalid entry.

Speaking to a human, being serviced by a human…it would be a novel concept on this site designed to connect human beings. How you’re above it all is beyond me. I’m wondering if somewhere you’ve teamed up with AT&T on masterminding the Shitty Customer Service Model – I own an iPhone and would throw it out the window if I weren’t so in love with the damned thing. AT&T’s customer service is maddening and I’ve never paid so dearly for such a high level of frustration. While I get the frustration for free with Facebook, I’d think that you could find $1.25 million in your estimated $550 million in revenue to hire 50 customer service reps at a whopping $25k per year to handle some customer service emails and calls. Customer service has been called an unaffordable budget cut in today’s economy, yet somehow Facebook lacks it entirely. Kudos for being ahead of the curve on saving money, but you’re saving it in the wrong place.

Maybe stop fucking around with your UI and save the money on design and coding. Just an idea. Reallocate those funds to serving those who promote you, use you and need help in maximizing their use of the services you provide.

Stop Acting Like Frat Boys

We get it – you started Facebook as a roommate thing and are oh-so-proud of where it’s gone and excited about where it can go. We are, too. But you need to stop acting like frat boys looking to nail the Google sorority girl. Your users and their content are what make you so attractive for partnerships. If you keep pissing us off, we’re going to gradually go away. We left MySpace, we shirked Plurk. We’ll do an about-face on Facebook as well. Start remembering who brought the beer and hot wings to your kegger and quit looking at Google’s tits long enough to communicate with those who got you where you are. We’re telling you what we need and what we want. All you have to do it engage. It IS “social” networking, right?

Enough With the Ad Whoring

It’s great that your ad network is a cost-effective means for businesses and individuals to promote services, causes and brand awareness. But I don’t want to see Jennifer Aniston’s unauthorized picture whoring some weight loss program or scam ads for “debt relief” services. I’m in Facebook to connect with people. People do business with people. How about some QA for these crap ads we’ve seen as of late and screw the user rating feature for ads. YOU are the network. Start taking control of your content. I could always hook you up with Focus on the Family and Tim Tebow if you want to learn more about bait-and-switch marketing tactics, y’know.

…and that’s all I’ve got for now, dear Facebook, but I’m sure my readers have more. We’ll see what they have to say about your shenanigans as I know the problems and views expressed above aren’t exclusively mine. I may be an outspoken redhead ranting out of Denver, Colorado, but I have clients who rely on me for answers about Facebook and you…make it difficult to say anything other than, “Well, that’s just the way it is. Facebook said so.”

And THAT is a crappy answer to have to give with the obligatory shrug.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had a question posed to me more often than ever before: should I be on Twitter?

While most seem to chirp out “Of course! C’mon! It’s fun! Everyone should be on Twitter!!!!” [notice the multiple exclamation points], my first response is generally something along the lines of:

Oh, hell no.

Why?

Because if you don’t know WHY you’re there, you can’t understand why you should stay.

Social media requires a strategy, whether you’re Suzy Sunshine looking to find fellow knitting fans or Bob the Business Owner seeking new customers.

Ask yourself right now: why are YOU on Twitter?

I research, compile and present social media strategies to a wide range of businesses throughout the year and I always enter each research stage with one assumption: this business should NOT be on Twitter. That is, unless I find evidence to the contrary. I don’t want my clients wasting their time with a social medium that is not conducive to their goals and…well…a waste of time. Establishing yourself in the social mediasphere is an investment. As I recently stated in a presentation at Chicks Who Click, you can’t have ROI without the I. If you have the choice between pissing away 15 minutes a day on Twitter and going to get a taco, go get the taco. It’ll at least leave you sated – which 15 minutes a day in the social mediasphere will NEVER, ever do.

Here are five questions to ask yourself if someone tells you that you simply MUST be on Twitter. Please kick them in the shins and then review this list. After all – it’s your time and something  you can never get more of.

Question 1: What do you think Twitter is?

If you think it’s something dirty (heh – “twitter”), if you think it’s a waste of time, if you don’t know…get clarification. And here’s the shocker: the answer is different for everyone. What Twitter is to ME isn’t the same thing it is to the awesome folks over at Good Belly. Clarify and then personify.

Question 2: How much time do you have to spend on social media each day?

Social media – and especially Twitter – is SOCIAL. That implies dialogue. Interaction. And in order to interact, you have to get to know people and break the ice a bit. Way too many people treat it like a hit-and-run accident or a one night stand. Relationships are not borne from broadcast headlines and self-indulgent posts. They’re borne from connecting on a personal level with your audience and THAT takes time. It’s the I in ROI – what are you prepared to I?

Question 3: What do you expect to get out of your Twitter account?

New customers? More site traffic? Blog comments? If you don’t know before you begin, take a minute to determine what you envision to be the end result. When you know the answer to this, question 4 will quickly answer itself.

Question 4: Is your target demographic on Twitter?

I recently worked with Doyle Albee at Metzger & Associates on a social media strategy for a high profile, international brand. Our initial thoughts? Twitter? Hell yes! The end result after 5 weeks of research? Hell no. Their target demographic lived in a niche bulletin board system and not on Twitter – and there were other ways to access key bloggers for product coverage. It’s NOT for everyone and we were truly delighted to tell the client: don’t waste your time here – spend it wisely over there.

Question 5: How will Twitter integrate into your other online presences?

Blogs, Facebook Fan Pages, Tumblr accounts, online promotions…How will you integrate Twitter into these efforts as well? No online presence is an island and one needs the support of others to be the most successful possible. If you don’t know about Facebook Fan Pages (also NOT for everybody), check out this killer post from Tamar Weinberg at Techipedia on building a Facebook Fan Page. If you’re working with a social media consultant, PR firm or ad agency who’s telling you that you should be on Twitter and cannot answer that question…shit, I hope you don’t have a contract. Fire ‘em.

And now to you, reader: what other questions should people ask before they dive-in face first into Twitter? Share you comments below and share with your friends so they can add their insights as well!

I’ll betcha didn’t you were going to have to hear the word bulimia again after I’d finished my presentation, did ya? This morning, I’m putting myself first

As I always do…Selfishness is a strategic business asset. Don’t delude yourself. On a side note: have you ever woken up in the morning and wondered – when did I turn into a pubescent, acne-plagued teen? I spent 20 minutes this morning looking for my Clearasil and was staring lovingly at a bottle of lighter fluid when the Clearasil eluded me…

and putting out my redux of Chicks Who Click Denver 2010. Saturday rocked my world. Admittedly, I didn’t know what to expect when Denise Smith asked me to be a speaker. My first thought was: people want to hear what I have to say? Even if they didn’t, it looked like I was on the slate. Shit howdy, let’s rock it.

I lurved meeting everyone throughout the day and will admit that I completely suck all sortsa things at remembering names. Poke me, prod me, lob softballs over my Twitter and Facebook fences. Remind me how we met and let me know where you live online!

Melanie Mills started the day off with a humbling and energetic jolt to the core: who are you, how do you operate and…what shape are you? I’m kinda hourglass and if I eat too many cream puffs, more pear than anything. But I digress. I’m a squiggle. A fun-loving squiggle FTMFW! She’s NOT a motivational speaker, ladies. She’s a motivator because of who she is and what she brings to the table. It’s rare I’m rallied by a speech (hence, my question as to whether anyone wanted to hear what I had to say), but Melanie made me laugh, smile…and think. Damn her, it was barely 9AM and she was making me think. Loved it.

Up next? POTTY BREAK! It was evident that The Curtis Hotel had seen me coming and wanted to see how long I could hold it (as it’s evident I wasn’t allowed in this stall). To spite them, I used the next stall, peed on the seat and then left the seat UP. Erika: 1. Curtis Hotel: 0.

Shelly Kramer was first up after our group pee. Fabulous in a cocktail dress, sweater and boots, she’s the kind of woman I could meet for coffee with a dog in my lap and a cowboy hat on my head. I’d shared off-color email banter with her (shocker) in a thread that went awry the night previous and was fairly sure she was my f-bomb soulmate – I was really looking forward to what she had to share. Key takeaways? Interview your clients – don’t just let them interview you. Dive in. Have a plan. Poop sharks are part of daily living and bring your personality to the table when it comes to social media. People love people. Know what you know, ask questions and get the answers to what you don’t know. Be. Real.

Misty Montano of Channel 4 here in Denver rocked it seven different ways during her presentation, sparking a great dialogue and mini-debate on the media’s role in reporting the news. Broadcast versus commentary – fact versus opinion. If you’re in Denver and you haven’t connected with Misty on Twitter, she’s a vibrant personality that’s doing new and innovative things when it comes to getting the news, breaking the news, and sharing the news with our local community. And through Twitter, she’s taking local news international. High five, girl!

A huge thanks to Noodles & Company for the killer schwag bag and for sponsoring the day’s festivities. They shared with us over lunch some details about their marketing philosophy and how they were growing and entering into the social media space. While I think they’ve missed the boat by leaving Twitter out of their strategy to-date, I have no doubt they’ll hop on board soon enough and see what a kickass marketing plan can do in conjunction with a great Facebook following and satisfying in-store experience.

And then – I spoke. I won’t rehash my preso in my own blog about the event, so if you want to see the post on which my presentation was based, read it here: Twitter – Multiple Personality Management Without Medication. I’ve also posted the slides if you’d like to have a run-through again (if the toilet bowl images weren’t clear enough the first time around). Again, my door is open for any questions. My contact information is on the last slide of the presentation as well. Reach out, I’ll help in any way I can! (And again, I apologize for the “plethora of penises” image on the opening slide. This is why my mother told me to not procrastinate. Everything looks good at 11pm on iStock the night before a presentation…) And to answer one question I don’t think I adequately answered during the event: How do you manage lists using HootSuite? I’ll also give you the list of tools we discussed during my presentation for online efficiency:

HootSuite.com – manage Twitter, Facebook personal profiles, Facebook Fan Pages and LinkedIn from on portal

Twellow.com – great tool for finding followers by keyword

TweepML.com – online resource for building private online lists of Twitter users (thanks @ShellyKramer and @Greeblemonkey)

Twitter Karma – my favorite resource for quickly following, unfollowing, and blocking on Twitter. A cool once-a-month clean-up tool.

If any of you have additional resources to share, add a comment below. The more tools you have to choose from, the better. You’ll find your groove and what works for you.

I was completely humbled by the day’s “mommy blogger” panel (@greeblemonkey, @Crazycanuckblog, @oliviaomega, and moderator @fruitlady). If you think that these mommy bloggers are nothing but Tide Brides, think again. From family safety to online privacy, handling pitches with integrity to how they balance the blessings and related curses of being working mothers with young children, I relished each and every part of the panel. Advice from a redhead: hug a mommy blogger. And then high five ‘em.

The day wrapped up with the #morebangable @tarable (Tara Anderson of Lijit) who took us on a rollicking journey of social media lessons learned through sit coms. While Melanie Mills had us searching for our ideal shape, Tara had us singing the theme songs from TV gems like Small Wonder and Growing Pains. She always kicks a lot of ass and if you’re not using Lijit on YOUR blog (it’s FREE – doh!), give her an @ on Twitter. Truth: we’ve got a hawt lunch date on February 5th to discuss integrating Lijit into my blog. Yeeha!

A huge shout to Denise Smith for organizing Chicks Who Click. The details for the next conference (Omaha! Woooo!) are already up on the website. Here are just a few reasons I’m glad that Chicks is around:

• Social media in your own backyard. After the conference, you have local connections and resources – not just speakers who fly in and fly away.
• A whole day with everyone on the same page - no breakout sessions means the benefit of group discussions and big thoughts bouncing around in one room.
• Real people – learn from people just like you. We’re all real and part of the beauty of social media is that it’s the perfect place for YOU to be.
• The Right Money - Under $250 for 8 hours of conversation and collaboration with no consternation! That’s $30 per hour (including lunch and assorted schwag). If your business isn’t worth $30/hour…

GO GET A DAMNED TACO!

Again, thank you for giving The Redhead the chance to offend you and making me feel like I’m not just a crazy lady with a keyboard. Share Chicks with your friends…even if they’re technically Dicks.

I'm keeping it separated...more sage advice from The Offspring

The circle of life is complete. LinkedIn and Twitter struck a deal this week to offer LinkedIn users the ability to have their status updates on that network tweeted. How you say? If you haven’t visited your LinkedIn profile lately, click on Edit My Profile and right under Websites, you’ll see a section where you can now add a Twitter Profile.

It’s a relationship that swings both ways.

Twitter to LinkedIn

• Include all updates from Twitter on your LinkedIn profile
• Include only those tweets with the tag #in

LinkedIn to Twitter

• Check the Twitter icon box next to your status update each time you update your LinkedIn status
• Read this FAQ from LinkedIn for more details

It sounds dirty, but I’m keeping my LinkedIn out of my Twitter.

While I don’t argue that there’s value in linking your social networks, my LinkedIn is a separate animal from any of my other social networks. It is my resume, my legacy and my history. It is my clients, past colleagues and nitpicky details. While is it laden with my snarky personality (as that is my professional persona as well), I have built it solely as a landing page for potential clients and professional connections. While some of those connections cross over into other networks, I never wanted that to be the case.

If you’re considering using LinkedIn and Twitter for cross-sharing of status updates, consider this: there are no two social networks that should be used in exactly the same way.

If you treat your LinkedIn like your Facebook, that’s not making optimal use of either platform’s potential to grow your sphere of influence.

If you treat your Twitter account like your LinkedIn profile, you’re missing the boat as well.

I’ve always felt that Twitter, when used properly, is an ongoing dialogue. It’s a conversation that changes every day yet with an overwhelming sense of familiarity if you do it right. LinkedIn isn’t built for “conversing.” It’s built for sharing professional knowledge. Aside from the Q&A sections (on which I frequently participate) and messaging/introduction features, it’s a “broadcast-only” network. Sure, you can use any number of “plugins” to share your blogs and SlideShare shows, but I’ll hold fast that it’s not really an outlet I’ll use to enhance my Twitter stream or vice versa.

I’m curious about your thoughts. Twitter’s been digging forever for monetization opportunities and it appears that partnerships and data access are the path they’ve chosen. Does the LinkedIn addition just add to the keyword-drenched spam potential through status updates? Will every tweet and status update become yet another billboard for someone’s affiliate or blog network? Hit me below with your perspective. But for now, my Twitter will be LinkedIn-free. (hallelujah, less money spent on ointment)

Do you ever tweet something from the wrong account?

Oh yes…yes, I have. Oh. My. God. Delete, DELEEEEEETE!

Do you ever reveal the companies you’re tweeting for?

No. Unless I’m being paid to be myself (see @DearRedhead), then it’s zipped lips till the grave.

There are some tricks I’ve learned over the past few years when it comes to “ghost tweeting” and best practices for managing multiple personalities without going the lithium route. I hope you find them of use and additionally, if you have any tips of your own you’d like to share – chime in! My readers would love to hear about them…as would I. Enjoy the following tips, blunders, and best practices for keeping your Twitter personalities out of the looney bin.

Twitter Tip #1: Full Disclosure

When managing multiple Twitter accounts, I’ve found it best to adopt a full disclosure policy to my clients. It includes the following details:

• I actively manage more than just your account.
• While there is tremendous benefit to that for each of my clients, information will ever be shared between accounts if it compromises the brand values and integrity of your account.
• I do not disclose the companies for whom I “ghost tweet.”
• My own personalities on Twitter (@DearRedhead and @RedheadWriting) are uncensored and often contain adult language and content. When using those accounts to share your company’s content, it will be done with integrity and with protection of your brand in mind.

If you’re simply using your personal account to pimp your client’s cyber ride, it’s douchy. Really, really douchy. If a client decides to not retain my services because my personal accounts’ collective tones, we probably weren’t a good fit anywhoo…ease on down the road.

Twitter Tip #2: Keep it Separated

I have personally found HootSuite to be my favorite multiple Twitter account management tool thus far. After having several “OH MY GOD!” moments with Seesmic and doing a lot of laundry from the pant crapping that ensued, here’s why I like HootSuite:

• Scheduling Tweets: For client accounts, I can schedule tweets to broadcast while I am in meetings or working on other projects.
• Idiot-Proof: It does kickass things like ask me “Do you really want to do that NOW?” It also reminds you to select an account to tweet from (ensuring I click the right damn one, thankyouverymuch).
• Built-in URL Shortener & Link Tracking: You can drop links into the toolbar and it shortens them to an ow.ly link. HOWEVER, here are some cool and not-so-cool things about that feature:
  • HootSuite’s reporting only tracks click traffic on links shortened using ow.ly
  • When you use ow.ly links, you lose SEO juice. This is important if you’re trying to drive traffic to a client’s site or even your own.
  • Thus, I use ow.ly/HootSuite trackable links for links I’m sharing to sites other than my own or my clients. I use bit.ly for links to client blogs, their websites, and my sites as bit.ly redirects and still gives SEO juice. Bit.ly has it’s own tracking software and you can even install a widget on your toolbar to shorten from any website and tweet directly from the Twitter account of your choice.
• Web-based Platform: Seesmic and Tweetdeck, while I do love their interfaces, are big ass memory hogs. HootSuite is web-based and doesn’t kill the speed of my already slow-ass Windows OS. We won’t discuss my dreams of Mac ownership at this juncture.
• Reporting: I provide my clients with very comprehensive monthly reporting. HootSuite provides attractive and detailed reporting with fully customizable date and time ranges and allows you to drill-down on a tweet by tweet level if you’re into that. The customizable time range is a pretty killer feature, especially if you’re tracking a particular initiative.

There is no worse feeling (for me, at least) then having sent an f-bomb laden tweet from the worst account possible: the WRONG ONE. If anyone has experiences with other multiple account management tools, I’d love to hear your perspective.

Twitter Tip #3: Don’t Forget to Communicate

Successful brands on Twitter are built via communication, not broadcasting. This means that you can’t just push news and links and forget why your clients are having you manage their accounts in the first place. Nothing pisses me off more than when I’m trying to communicate with a brand on Twitter and come to realize it’s an unmonitored account.

Stop. Read. Listen. It’s great to be able to schedule tweets to go out while you’re in a meeting, but if you don’t remember to go back and check your feeds and be a human being, you’re going to do your clients more harm than good.

Twitter Tip #4: Don’t Forget to Purge

Your job when managing a Twitter account for a client is to help that brand become a trusted presence. An authority in their space. And most of all, a human being with a personality and sense of ethics. Unless you’re @DearRedhead, you’re not looking for a collection of adult film stars and pornbots in your follower lists. @DearRedhead doesn’t care – she’s a sex advice columnist on an adult toy review website.

Review your client account follower lists at LEAST once a week. Before I follow brands on Twitter, I troll through their follower lists. If I see a bunch of crap, it tells me that they’re more interested than numbers than communication. Help keep your clients from the same stigma by actively managing followers on every account under your control.

***

Managing multiple accounts on Twitter doesn’t have to be a headache but it’s not a task to take lightly. Just like you shouldn’t friend your boss on Facebook, you should also understand the value of separating your personal brand from those of your clients. As well, understanding how to co-mingle those brands and how to do it without being a retweet-bot douchebag. I’d love to hear from any of you out there who manage multiple accounts and how YOU keep it separated without medication. While some days are easier than others, I have yet to require medication for my multiple accounts.

Sheep. ‘Nuf said.

(Hi, Erika.)

Hello, sheep. How are ya this fine freakin’ morning? We’re talking Twitter again today. It’s in my craw and we haven’t talked tweeting since my schoolyard smack-down as to why I’m not following you back on Twitter and three snarky ways to be annoying while using the medium.

On a side note, the picture to the left was just cute enough to offend me this morning and I might send it over to Fuck You, Penguin, to see what he can do with it.

While at Blog World, I was consistently asked, “Oh! Do you follow so-and-so? How about _____? No?! Really! You should.”

No, I shouldn’t. And I started responding with one simple phrase:

“Actually, I’m an Active Un-Follower.”

This prompted many “blinky-blinks” and “what do you means?”

Twitter is becoming bloated and the Fail Whale is looking more and more like some tragedy from a National Geographic special, washed-up on the shore and stinking of death. The addition of Bing and Google into the real-time search game will only bloat the system even more (and you can read my thoughts on the Social Media “Group Hug” here). Hence, I’m conserving energy and narrowing my focus.

What I’m doing isn’t new. Others have dumped 100% of their followers and started adding people back again. But here’s my reasoning for paring-down my network:

• I Can’t Listen to What Needs Listening: I have clients who rely upon my ability to read the Twitter stream and understand what’s going on in social media, their industries and well…shit I want to read on my own. If I don’t recognize your username as someone with whom I regularly exchange tweets with, you’re getting the axe.
• If I Can’t Listen, I Can’t FIND the Right People to Follow. I come across interesting people online each and every day. I’m also looking for new folks to add to my stream and those of my clients. Through all the damn noise (and it’s only going to get louder), I can’t build meaningful communities. I’m just left with piles of people. Piles suck. Look at your laundry. No one likes folding laundry, so it stays in piles.
• Pure Spite: I’m so fucking sick and tired of the DM spam that talks about “fauxllowers” (i.e.: people you follow who don’t follow you back) and how to “get a gazillion followers TODAY” that I’m being childish and sending a very straight and intentional middle finger to the Twittersphere. Nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

If you’ve gotten or find yourself getting the axe from The Redhead, don’t fret and it’s not personal. This isn’t a game of elementary school kickball where everyone gets to play. While I use Twitter and social media for business and pleasure, I have no doubt we’d all be better off if we collectively treated it more like a business. Stop being the crazy aunt (and we all have one) who keeps everything and whose house smells like Spaghetti-Os and mothballs.

You wanna hug this word jumble?

(As a primer, have a gander at HubSpot’s When Two Worlds Collide: Social Media Marketing & SEO post – great recap of the Search and Twitter news of the past 24 hours and some excellent graphics as well)

Let’s talk search. I’m most always sporting my SEO hat when generating online content. Except on Twitter. I have a feeling that’s going to change in short order as we witness the interwebz becoming the interweb. HubSpot touched on the potential affects the Social Media/Search “Group Hug” will have on how content is handled on a move forward basis. Great post and worth 15 minutes of your time to read in-depth (link is above). For the sake of time and attentions spans, I’m opting for bullet points to lodge my concerns:

• CRAP OVERLOAD: There’s a lot of crap on Twitter as it is: spam, affiliates pumping links. Get your shovels now because the term “crapload” is about to be redefined.
• SPONSORED TWEETS? FUGGHEDABOUDIT: With Google and Bing jumping into the real-time search pool, every Tweet is now “sponsored.” Linkjuice be damned, the Sponsored Tweet pool has been peed in. Will it matter WHO sends the tweet now if it’s all about links and keywords?
• ALGORITHMS: If Google expands its ranking algorithms to include Tweets, holy shit: lock up the women and children. How will they weight Retweets against original posts? Are Retweets the goal? Will gamers set up bogus accounts on an even larger scale to pump up their link juice?
• URL SHORTENING SERVICES: bye-bye unless you redirect. Ow.ly – go ahead fix yer shit or get in the breadline now.
• VANITY URL SHORTENING: get yours today. Better yet, hope you got it yesterday.
• SETweet? Keyword stuffing in 140 characters or less. Colloquial conversation just got a stick shoved up its backside.
• VOLUME: With SEO firms, affiliates, PR peeps and businesses themselves all interested in rankings, will we be inundated with link blasts to drive rankings? How will the algorithms compensate?
• THE BLACK HAT IS BACK: Prepare yourselves. With SEO black hat practices having been re-engineered by affiliate marketers who put up 10 fake blogs to pump links back to a single site, I dare say that we’re on the verge of a whole new “think tank” determining the newest ways to game the system.

Some thoughts for the folks over at Google and Bing from a lippy blogger who wears her SEO hat with a rakish tilt:

• New Algorithm Bling: I know your coders are already pissing their pants when it comes to adding social to search. Think long and hard about how initial postings of Tweets will be weighted against Retweets, please. Each will have its ramifications.
• The Double-Edged Sword that is Volume: Twitter users with large communities enjoy the viral spread of good posts through their network. The power of the Retweet. Will your algorithms penalize, reward or find the delicate balance in popular posts being shared in high volume VERSUS gamers who artificially generate high sharing volumes?
• Keyword Emphasis: How will you weight Tweets that are keyword optimized? A core component of search, will the new algorithms encourage keyword loading in social posts or find a way to value the colloquial texture of social media as we currently know it?

Answers will emerge in time, but Google and Bing aren’t in the social game. They just acquired access to it. I’m curious to hear your thoughts on other considerations for the Big Boys of Search to take into account as they grab real-time search by the balls and tell it what’s what. Leave me a comment below.

Keep Twitter Clean - Block Spammers

Spammers on Twitter. I hate them. So do you.

If you are one, I’d like to kick you in the jimmy.

I’ve had several people ask me as of late why I bother to take the time to block spammers who follow me on Twitter. You asked, I’m answering.

Spammers are out to serve only themselves. Last I checked, it’s called “social media” not “me media.” Spammers are anything but “social” in nature and often push services of a dubious nature. They appear in my Twitter stream uninvited with their non-topical, keyword search-generated auto Tweets and they piss me off to no end.

It’s akin to being in a meeting that’s 1.5 hours deep and the kid from the mailroom outside overhears someone in the conference room say the word “suitcase” through the glass wall. Suddenly, Mail Boy barges into the conference room and exclaims:

“Hey! If you’re looking for awesome suitcases, my uncle runs a store in Illinois! Has for 30 years! Just tell him Billy sent ya and he’ll give you one heckuva deal.”

…and then exits, grabs his mail cart and strolls along down the hallway. Meanwhile, everyone in the conference room is wondering what the hell just happened. THAT’S SOCIAL MEDIA SPAM.

If you’re on Twitter and you’re doing it right, you’ve taken (or ARE taking) the time to build-up a meaningful following and being selective about whom you choose to follow. (If you’re not, fine – go ahead and live in your room with 15,000 TVs all tuned to different stations roaring at full-blast.) Spammers are the telemarketers of the social media: when you shut one down, another gets your number and invariably calls your cell phone during dinner.

Twitter spammers prevent:

• Accurate user statistics on a macro level
• Accurate follower/following statistics on a micro (user-by-user) level
• The Twitter support team from spending time protecting and improving their technology and making it monetizable (the biggest challenge they’ve had with their business model to-date)

If you’re NOT actively blocking spammers from your Twitter account, you’re doing the entire Twitter community a huge disservice. Are you so damn insecure that you need the 114 fake women asking you to “look at thr sxxy webcam pix XXX” comprising your follower numbers? Hey, if you just like porn – awesome – but follow the REAL porn stars and not the spam accounts, would ya?

But Erika – how do I know if someone is a spammer?

• Look at their Twitter stream. If it’s all broadcast about the same thing and no @’s – yeah, probably spam.
• Women’s names with letters and numbers following – while not always the case, these little porn bots crop up in droves and usually are inviting you to view their sexy pictures. And guys – just like at the strip club – they don’t love you. They’re spambots.
• Any dink who’s tweeting about getting a gazillion followers in 3 days. Spam, spam, spam. If you USE one of these services, you’re an asshole. You’re killing Twitter and the meaningful connections that can be made and are obviously not willing to put in the time to build a relevant network. (Yeah, I said that. Sue me.)

So, Erika – what do we DO when we find spammers following us?

YOU BLOCK THEM! And here’s how to do it and what happens when you do:

Click on your Followers and go to Expanded View (not List View). This will show you your followers’ most recent tweet (useful for determining if a user is a spammer in many cases).

Copy the username and send a message to @spam like this with the spammer’s username you’re going to block.

Select BLOCK from the drop-down menu in your Followers panel.

Confirm the block.

When you block spammers AND send their username to @spam, the Twitter administrators keep track of users who are consistently blocked. Excessive blocks will flag their account for removal either immediately or in a mass purge. They perform these purges on a regular basis, which prompts people who don’t pay attention to their followers to cry, “OMG! I lost 64 followers! WTF!?” the next day. Read more about Twitter’s spam policy and —guess what???— what I’ve told you to do to spam accounts above is EXACTLY what Twitter tells you to do with them! I’m just the messenger.

So there you go: why you should block spammers on Twitter and the PROPER procedure for doing it. Help keep Twitter’s userbase clean so the admins can actually work on keeping the Fail Whale out of view instead of cleaning up the the mess from people who leave their turds in Twitter’s yard.

*** LARGE PRINT DISCLAIMER: “Blocking” accounts on Twitter is meant to be a protective action – if you don’t care for another Tweep’s content or style, you don’t have to FOLLOW them. Simply unfollow – don’t BLOCK them. Just remember that you’re the one who subscribed to their content in the first place – you’re the one who can unsubscribe as well.

Are you subscribed to this blog? Well, why NOT? Add it to your reader or get your updates via email NOW. Click on the RSS icon or enter your email address at the top right hand side of this page. Admit it – you get a lot of crap in your inbox. Why not get some crap you actually want to read?