I won’t tell you why I’m in Los Angeles this week. What I will tell you is that it involves much ass kicking (and my ass is the recipient of the business end of the boot). I signed up for this and while I wasn’t previously sure how much I was going to like it, I can currently say the following without hesitation:

Bring on the boot.

We all go about our days, embroiled in routine and  administering ass kickings. But when’s the last time we willingly signed-up for one? As professionals, our livelihood thrives on the opportunity to share our knowledge base with those in need of what we know. People pay us to whip them and their businesses into shape. We pay for what we cannot provide for ourselves: dental cleanings, medical diagnosis, automotive repair. I say we add regularly scheduled ass kickings to that list.

There’s something delicious in the entirely tawdry, “Yes, Mistress! May I have another!!?!!?” As humans, however, we’ve developed an aversion to pain, and pain rears its head in many fashions. Dawning recognition, dissolution of a relationship, loss, failure. But why can’t we start seeing ass kickings as paths to opportunity instead of beat-downs from failure?

Here are five things I’ve learned about getting my ass kicked since my arrival in Los Angeles on Friday morning last week:

• When you think you can’t do it again, do it twice. Rarely have I ever thought about what I’m capable of achieving and by hiring someone to kick my ass, I remove my preconceived notions from the equation. If I think I have no more good ideas, nothing left in me, there’s so much left and it’s hiding in places I never imagined. That’s why you do it twice.
• You’re rarely a good judge of your potential, but you can get better. When you sign up for an ass kicking, they’re approaching YOU without emotion and with pure function. WHAT can they make you do? HOW can they push you? They could really give a shit if you’re tired or haven’t eaten enough today or you skipped your morning coffee. They’re there to push, and when they push without regard for your assumed comfort zones, you’re left with a great gift: a new realization of what you can achieve. That’s friggin’ priceless (and it means endless potential for your NEXT ass kicking).
• You do exactly what you’re thinking. If you’re thinking about lunch when you’re supposed to be doing something for a client, your client is getting the ass end of the deal. Similarly, when you need to execute something and you don’t plan your process, you’re screwing yourself. Take a moment and THINK about what you’re doing. We spend so much of our days just DOING that by taking a moment to THINK, we can vastly improve how we DO.
• You can DO better. Maybe you’re damn skippy at what you do. A freakin’ savant and force to be reckoned with. When you bring in outside eyes to have a gander at HOW you DO, you’re getting two things: someone to watch the process who has no attachment to how you FEEL about it and the ability to improve something that may be pretty great (or even not so pretty). By opening yourself up to the ass kicking, you’re saying “I want to DO better” and separating yourself from the attachment you might have to how you’ve BEEN doing. It’s a pretty cool feeling when you realize that yes, you can DO better and there’s nothing wrong with what you’ve BEEN doing. It’s the potential inherent in the future. That’s what I think is damn skippy.
• Comfort, schmomfort. Many of you know I’ve become quite the cycling nut. A gentlemen down in Colorado Springs is reported to say, “It’s cycling: if it were easy, they’d call it beer.” If you want to be comfortable, get a sofa or a Tempur-Pedic mattress. If you want to move forward, apply some pressure and I think a foot to the ass is the ideal means of pressure. Stop being so wrapped-up in FEELING. Start concerning yourself with DOING, PUSHING, CHANGING. We’re fairly hesitant to get out of our comfort zones, and this past week, I’ve enjoyed paying for the pleasure of having someone’s foot up my ass. Improving isn’t about being comfy – it’s about acquiring skills so that you build a foundation for improving even more down the line. When you stop searching for the “push point” and how that affects everything else you do, you may as well be a bag of Cheetos. Crunchy, orange, lumpy…static. Bleh.